Dating the date

Silence covers the floor, evaporates to the air, rains back down to ground, raises more awareness with additional feelings flavoring the silence, and back on the cycle...We keep longing...and it is dated now!

Jump start

"It is a new day"
"Yes, it is, and it is just a new beginning"
"Well, I never gave up!"
"You almost did, don't fool me" she says
As I stir the sugar in the tea, I remember I was supposed to put some jam into it, or
"May I have the jam aside? Don't you know, I don' t drink use sugar."
"That's why you never called me again since last September"
"When will you pause for a moment and think don't I give enough difficult moments to this young boy"
"Young?" she sighs.
"And, mature!" I say slowly.
"Everybody gets mature, and then they forget to take care of their skin, they age, and then begin to realize they need somebody to love."
"Well, I reserved this ticket six years ago, please don't sell it in the black market, I know this is pretty expensive now. See, I can learn how to invest my energy and time. Can I get a deposit slip?"
"I am not ready to get married!"
"I almost did, ohh sorry, that was on another planet with another girl called Zair." I say, and she walks away to the balcony.

I was a chilly May, and I was expecting shower, as I begin to wonder, there was the thunderstorm, and here we are, watching the rain together, and thinking how we will slowly build our dam to collect good times, and install a recycling facility to reduce the waste of bad moments. I spent almost a year and half in searching for this system which will circulate my time and energy investment into sound financial sum to let us reproduce our fruitful relationship every other day. I never had this moment in Baku, watching the rain from our cozy, small apartment. I know, time passes so quickly and I need to rush back to work in Istanbul and maybe, we see each other a few weeks later. I wish one thing from Allah to make her slowly understand why I never gave up on her, and why I am so stubborn to rise from the west hemisphere. It is always nice to see the sun giving birth to a new day counter clockwise, and it is fun to watch her go to sleep first, and then I pray she will see how I continue to sacrifice my longing and passion just a few ... more. I know it cannot be a year, but it will be a few months.

There is no single day, I lived without knowing hearing from Azerbaijan. If we just pronounce the -jan part, and mimic it as -jam, I feel like I am a part of it. As the notorious president Haydar Aliyev said, we are one nation, two counties. From the beginning, I felt the same as we are one body, two minds. Indeed, we have many conflicts and it was always fun to make the shortest sentences with short-run arguments to result them with satisfactory conclusions. As long as everybody is clear about their stepping stone, we will not hurt each other, indeed we will just hug each other in the sky.

"Mom is calling" she says, and here we are listening to her beautiful voice, sometimes high, sometimes low. They are both admiring. Farewell to my old habit of missing to record our beautiful moments, and just staring at the camera and say, "Hello, I am Cafe and today's guest is Ms. Zair." She was never a-today's-guest type of girl. She was an all-time star, always making me wait to watch her on a clear sky. Thanks to Allah, she was shining during the day, and for some reason, the Sun was not bothering her own illumination.

"Ladies and gentleman, if I open this box, and just show why I do this, would you just give me hand to convince this beautiful lady who is now wondering what the heck I need to say to him" I shout to the storks moving to the East. They make their famous sound and simply agreed with me to open the box, and then just like digging a well full of fuel, this box begins to grow a fruitful tree reaching up high in the sky. I climb it, thinking that I will see all the way East, and surpass all mountains between us. Storks are a little nervous, since I never been up so high.

"I do, I do"
"Who is this?" I shout to the East.
"I do, I ."
"Who are you?" I shout back again, because I am barely hearing her, whoever she is.
"Continue, I am still way thing." she says, but I really don't understand anything, what is "way thing"?
I move forward and more rapidly, so then I arrive to the top of the tree. I met a beautiful lady, considering her to be an angel, supposedly, but not really sure, and indeed, not really care, because I am all obsessed to catch my reservation and not be late at least this time.

"Welcome aboard!" she says.
"Can we just finish this, hello, really, I am running late." I mistakenly increase my volume with the high volume of excitement I have.
"It is 8.43pm, and we are closing in 2 minutes, why were you so late, you know about your scheduled flight."
"I am sorry, but yes, I just dreamed, and imagined, what can I do, this is my fuel for life, how do you think I climbed so high and always thought that at least you would allow me to see her eyes, or just her new design of hair." I say with an almost upset situation.
"Tell me what I can I do for you, other than giving your ticket."
"Just tell me, why you care about my passion. Nobody did. People think it is crazy, and it is 21st century, and don't forget, we need to consume everything so rapidly. We eat, we sleep, we love, we hate, etc. etc. Things happen so fast. Let me tell you this. I always wanted this, and I always think positive. I just never had a chance to give up, because words were just flushing out of my mouth. Whenever I look around, I see things offering me to use them as my figurative speech which will let everyone to imagine and put this relation into real words, real life. Unlike sitting down and thinking and asking repeatedly why, why, why.. I preferred to polished the good times, and trash away the bad times, and I never forgot my bad habits which are now recycled into small cans, so I can see them on the shelf, and they remind me that they are full of shit, and I never should be so close to them again. Never, ever. It is getting late, really, we are aging, could you please just give my ticket and let me know how long is the delivery of my body to her city of angels?"
"Well, it is upto you, it could be tomorrow, or it could be a few weeks later. But, remember, don't make this long, because you are about to get crazy like Hallac-i Mansur of Baghdad." she reminds me.
"OK, I leave everything here, so if they send me a message on facebook, please reply back and tell them I am almost finished with clearing my heart from dust." I said, and the order arrives.
"Hello Mr. Cafe, you Persian cookie, 1.50 TL please."
"Thanks, always on time."
"Your are welcome, good night."
"Good night, see you later."

Just Be

Gotta do some targeted mass marketing and lots of research, feeling like I am just messing with the internet, but just an innocent look at the heater in front me reminds you back on, as the whole days passes with moments of you.

Just be the heater heating the whole room, I promise I won't be jealous or selfish, let you be, just be around, I can just look, just look at you.

Just be the light illuminating the whole room, I won't turn it on and off, play with it, nope, nothing, just let you be, and I will just take a look at you, well sometimes, I won't let my eyes die, or go blind, since I need to refresh my memory that I used to .... just be next to you.

Just sit around the dinner table, don't need to enjoy the dinner, just be the salt, or pepper on the table, I won't use you, I will just stare at you all night long, and promise you once again I will not overuse the rare moments that needs to be appreciated from the beginning to the end, just like the arrival of a plane on JFK airport, and departing immediately, staying away from the local taxes, charges, etc.

Just be ... mine, I mean, stay in my mind, or well, be like a mint, refresh my breath and the whole world.

Just be a letter on my laptop's keyboard, but not space, or enter button, I press them a lot, maybe the Escape button, whenever I watch the T9 video, and remember our time together, I can slowly press the Esc button, and leave the video, because there is no need to send my signals back on you, as you are already (maybe) enjoying the best times in your life, in your country, around your family. I know, I feel the same, just that we are so apart, but we have the same norms and traditions. Just be, yes, stay there, and also let me be, I mean, hear, or know about what's up, so I will make you the F5 button on my keyboard, which is to refresh the page. I promise, I will have high speed internet, so I will not need to use F5 a lot, the page will load instantly, and I will not need to refresh it.

Just be the orange, and I will promise you to keep you alone, as I continue to squeeze four to make my midnight vitamin charge. Stay alone, or of course, maybe you already have somebody inside the orange peel, so, yes, I won't peel you off, live your life, and yes, I won't cut you, and squeeze you, I know, there won't be any poison, but well, I won't disturb you, as I promised.

Just be the music in my ears, and I promise I will not play the same melody over and over again. As fruitful as the people of Turkey, there are lots of types of people, animals, plants, etc. There is a good combination of both, while some parts are unfortunately eroding and missing the gems of life. May they find their path back on without harming others, and yes, continue to sing with your beautiful voice, and don't put a sorry face, because I use the blender, and I am responsible for the plate, and I am sorry to leave a sour feeling on your palate. But, speaking of music, your ears, yes, and mine, well you may put earphones on yours, because this time I want to be selfish, I just want to hear you, and I don't want you to hear what you say, and then maybe I will hear that phrase I longed for so long! An innocent I .... too, you fill the blanks, if you have a chance to read this.

Time is passing, and maybe I will not enjoy this movie each minute. It is true that it is getting late, and I already deserved my Persian "pogaca", why not share it?

Dear you,

Just be around, yes, just let me hear, or see what's up? Because, I cannot think and believe that you changed, this is absolutely ridiculous to realize that we changed. Of course, people mature and realize about the realities of life, such as being around the loved ones, forever, or stay in our beloved lands, etc. But, on the other side, there is this feeling of sharing a life for the pleasure of whole world. For one second, if you imagine everyone was happy with one another, do you think we would have ultimate justice and peace. I am simply inviting you to contribute to this ideology, maybe, just like picking up the starfish on the beach, and throwing them back to the sea.
I invite you to use your beautiful figurative speech all the time, and remind me that we are all humans and we are capable of appreciating this life more than any other creature. Just be the one that I rarely, usually, sometimes, often, always and foremost frequently see and talk in this life, and just guess how much we can save by adding less salt to our dish. Yes, dear (used to be darling), end of each post is labeling another sticker on my face, and soon, I will be unable to see you, if I happen to be decorated with those happy face stickers. And, yes, those will be fake, to tell the world that I am without you.

I am....

Be!

You?