Sunday 17

Last year,due to earthquake many lives were lost in the early morning of this date. May Allah avoid such disasters, and I hope human mind will be able to track the earthquakes more precisely.

A quake in my heart is getting bigger and bigger.First let me share the disclaimer that this story may or may not be true. The only aim behind sharing this story (used to in poem format,now revitalized, and became a story), is to award it for a movie scenario.

Yesterday,calling her mama to say mubarek kandil (one of the religious date in Muslim calendar) was a bless for me. As I was about to hang up the phone since there is not much to talk between us, I happen to say I did not give up (to chase their girl). She then wondered again how. Since I was competing with her mama to have her daughter.She wants to keep her only child within the borders of her city. I want to bring her to my country. There is only 2-hours flight distance between the point of interest. It is such a dilemma for me. I am literally bargaining to bring her daughter to my country when I get married. It is not a matter of their allowance for their child to marry me. It is a matter of environment.
I was told that when two people love each other, the world doesn't matter for them. There is also separations with love. I would not call it separation. I would call it deviance for now. I was studying calculus very passionately, and I always desire to apply maths to regular routine of life. What I like most about math was that it was applicable to music theory as well. I would not feed my passion as much as I was supposed to and desired to do. I want to combine the theory in chemistry as well. Person lives with the surrounding to compose the system. Today's system is not in good health. The economy, politics, environmental disasters, so much happening. To be honest, it is not like pre-historic times either. Life is getting more complex as we add more desired to the shopping basket. For me, I left my wallet at home, and only went to the mall to see her. For her, it is the same. But, when it is the same for her family as well, then there is a clash between points of interest. One girl, one mama, and one boy. Also, don't forget the boy's mama, but there is big difference between mamas now. Boy's mama also cares about her son, though on the other side, girl's mama doesn't want to give up anything. And now, there is no gap for negotiation since girl's papa was upset to mama's emotional breakdown due to boy's negotiations. The gap is closed. Boy is lost. The name of the girl has to be forgotten, but the love composing their relationship for 5 years has to be alive. The boy is at this stage the story teller..

I cannot call you sweetheart..
I cannot call you my melon
You cannot call me bittersweet
You cannot call me pepper

We are not living at two opposite sides of the world
We are just unlucky to meet each other.
We love each other so much
Why do we need to stay apart
This was actually a lyrics of a song
But this song is us, the lyrics shouldn't matter thus

What I am thinking is to forget your name, and preserve your love in the freezer. I will treat you as ice. Whenever I hit myself, I took the ice, put on my skin, then immediately put you back in the freezer. I cannot handle the pain, as long as there is a reliever. I always sacrificed my heart to fight for you. Now I am lost, how you are capable of changing your family's decision. It is too tough to continue on my own, just have my goals in my mind to marry you. Like an ottoman soldier, fighting on the front. Keeping my beliefs, my desires..Just unsure if you will be forced to marry another men in the near future. If there is train coming to your city, I would definitely take it every weekend to see if you are still healthy. If I were a girl, I would not survive in this case. Don't say that I am a man, I can handle this. I don't believe me, I don't. There is no appetite, no aim to check what's right, what's wrong. I am losing my mind. There is humidity in the air, and the wind direction is blowing to your direction. Now, I will begin to lose some weight. So, the wind could take me to you.

Like we watched the movie Nemo, the birds were shouting me, me, me when they see a fish on the deck. During the day, many flourishing thoughts are arising in my mind. But, I am not sitting in front of the computer all the time. Please don't expect me to do that. I shall practice more to see if I can run to you. I told you, there is no train coming to you. The plane take too short time to deserve coming at you. The bus is not safe, I don't like long drives with the bus. Plus, there is not much leg-space in the seats.

Please bare with me. I hope you will remember my blog's name, and read these messages. I want to kindly ask you to wait a few months. I will make a final decision until your birthday. The poll will close in the blog. And, the 200 something days seems to far, but in fact, it is not far. No, it is too soon, and I shall be quick. I will be quick honey, just on my way. Is the dinner ready, how are the kids? Would you marry me, where would you like to go for honeymoon. If I take you to the moon, can I sing the song by Frank Sinatre, fly me to the moon. No, moon is too far, and we lost too much time to see each other. I shall take the train, and they are building the route nowadays, maybe I will some as soon as they finish the construction. Take care honey, now the olympics athletics began. I shall watch it, and get inspired. I shall be inspiring as well. Ok wait, please listen to me. "You know. You know it. Don't forget it."