Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sweden visits my blog for IKEA, what about the rest

It was an upsetting news to have one visitors from Sweden, and it was a particular visit to my post including a note of IKEA Swedish meatballs. Anyways, visit is a visit, welcome on board. Please fasten your seat belts.

First, unable to contact her, and today finally get to ask her that ultimate question. "Did you get married?" The answer was not surprising, since I heard this before. "Soon" she said. "Is there any candidate" I said. She said, yeah, there are some. "How old is he?" I asked to confirm this neither surprising fact. "Twenty-one"
Same age with her. Not a good plan for marriage, but who knows. It's her life and she should be mature enough to find a "man" who she can manage. One of her companies she was unable to manage was me. As I tried to get the ropes to make decision, we get bankrupted. Finally, when I realized we need to make our decisions TOGETHER, it was too late. I like the fact that I love someone more than I care about myself. Her privacy is not accessible, but with my cell-phone call today, she released the curtain a little bit to sacrifice that important fact to help me construct my own life. She said that (supposedly me) I'm not leaving her alone.

Is it me who is still in the jungle, looking for his mate? Maybe, I need to wait until March, which is the mating season. Shall I postpone my search for her and my trip to Baku. According to her, she would still think about me even she gets married with someone else. What a maniac movement? How is this categorized according to Freud? Or Pythagoras. Right now, I declare the world that I'm deleting this file from my folder called love. I will not copy file to my folder de "hate". Sorry, but I send it to her recycle bin. It's there right now. But, it is recycled. Maybe, we will be best friend when we get married with others. Who knows? I know. Some day, we will find each other. What age? In what marriage status (single or duo). I don't want to know sometimes too much information is really too much. I wish her success, but this blog is unlimited. As I said, I love her more than she loves herself, more than I love myself. But, now, the love is gone.

Gone with the wind, and may Allah keep the wind direction far away from me.

Best wishes,

Thursday, October 16, 2008

When it hurts, I know it is there

I just hit my head, accidentally, well, the accident was coming. I hope a hillside beach club will not be formed on my forehead. I wish I could receive a phone call from you, when you read these lines, Ms. Zair. My head aches a lot, my heart is same. If they don't ache, are we gonna know they really play a crucial part in our lives. My head aches a lot now, and there is no ice in the office, I try to put a glass of cold water, touching the glass part. My head aches now, and I hope you are safe in my brain. Maybe I lost a few brain cells, and...
I contacted your sister for a job in Baku, but no response yet. Of course, she is busy with her newborn baby, I am dying, what a pure dilemma in my life. Recently, a Turkish journalist died in Baku during his trip. The cause was heart attack. He had a quote saying he would want to die in Baku. May Allah bless his faults, give "rahmet".
I want to get old with you, and I will keep repeating myself. You have your own choices, I don't know which dressings you would like to use for your own salad. I ordered Turkish Salad, but they have Italian, as well. What do you admire most? I admire you, really. I am losing my patience, I am ready to sell lemons on Baku streets. I would register a company, and begin selling lemons on the street. I would just require a studio apartment, even a rental room with a local family will be acceptable. I just want to breathe the same air. I would repeat this as well. Now the electricity is gone one more time, but now my laptop battery works, yeah I know, my battery is interesting. My head aches, and I don't know who will look after me in Baku. I wish to know, but nobody tells me. I hope to find peace in Baku, finally. But, my head keeps aching, and I don't want to see balloon shaped head on the mirror. I am hopeful, I am optimistic. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see the train coming to me. I wish I can come to Baku with train, it is still under construction, I guess I will take the flight. Will it be one-way, or round trip, of course no choice. I shall keep one of my legs in Istanbul to check my folks. I miss you so much, and I guess I will start lobbying with people who knew us. If they also tell you how much I adore you, will things be different? I know your angry moments, and I know sometimes it passes away. This time, you were certain, maybe I just don't want to admit the truth. I would take the streets of Baku as New York City. Don't worry, I have no limits in my imagination boundaries. No limits for other things, but here is not the place to talk such topics like that. One small short and slim quote from my brain, whatever is left after I hit my head. It keeps giving me error, lack of Zair, lack of Zair. I take my vitamins each day, I can easily replace milk with Calcium organic vitamins, vegetables with daily vitamins, fish with omega vitamins, I just cannot replace you in my diet. I keep trying, but the journey is coming to an end, and I am coming to your boundaries. If I can walk on the same pavement you walk to your office, I would feel priveleged to face the cold winter, no worries. I will keep preparing myself mentally and physically, I am just not sure if your sister will be able to help me. Because, I have noone in your land, but I am ready to be nobody in yours faithfully, sincerely, kind regards, beautiful words, cozy street lights, dreamy eyes, comb-me hair, sweet cheeks, kissable lips, all of you...

Deep Note: Today was not a good day at all, not productive, but mentally thought-provocative. And, I hit my head. It should be a pleasure to witness the evolution of this book, so called, Zair and me (Cafe).

Warning: The narrator has no association with the characters in story. His only wish is to be inspiring for new couples, love lovers, movie makers..

Thanks to Feedjit, new widget in my blog, and dear world, I love Zair, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I am in prison. They only give a piece of laptop, not to do lap dance, but do some mind dancing. What is it? It is about mining, thinking about what I did wrong that they put me in this lonely prison. Of course, I am not talking about real, square room, iron bars, securities, cameras, etc. I am talking about the "real" prison feeling in normal life. If my heart is chained, and my mind is locked for one special girl, I cannot think of any future for my kids. I am thinking about a happy life, with a love marriage, not monetary marriage. Look at your surroundings. How many families are able to give their kids needed time? We are all in a rush. I am personally in a rush as well, to build up my life financially. But, during this rush, Zair misunderstood me, and took me as someone who doesn't care about her feelings. Her feelings of loss. I have no power left to struggle anymore. I contacted her sister to arrange somewhere to live in her city. As long as I breath the same air, it is OK. At least, I would improve my common senses with her. Currently, I feel that we still love each other, and our hearts beat together, so this is one sense. Second sense would be the air, same air we will breath. I have no doubt if we may improve this further, but I would be satisfied to keep my struggle and aim further. I am optimist and realistic. I don't deny the past, but I cannot wait for the future. This present time is a struggle, and thanks to the new widget in my blog, I just saw her entry from Azerbaijan. Maybe, she told her friends about this place of sadness, place of sorrow, dancing floor of broken hearts. Still, there is news from her country, by this special visit. I feel like hearing from my folks supposedly I am living lonely in a desert. No communications, but somewhere over the mountains, a call is coming, like the call of the prayer. I miss you Zair, I wish I can see you when you visit this blog. I wish I can put my eyes on this blog, so I can record your beauty further. I threw away all your pictures, videos together. I regret. I have nothing left, only one picture from your recent visit to Turkey. Shame on me. Stupid me that I forget all the time to record beautiful moments. But it is OK. As I thought before, all memories are recorded in my mind, my beautiful mind. Allah forgives our sins, we deserve a future together. A future happy, healthy and horny:) No of course, the last word is joke, we need to smile sometimes, so don't forget, smile to the camera, and say Cafe, no Cheese. I say Zair to the camera, when they take a picture. You know, I know. Now, everyone knows.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bridge now with the past, then walk away

Reading Paulo Coelho is always inspiring, and here we are lost again as soon as digesting one more chapter. Now far away from the beginning of the book still in the midst of awakening. Mr. Coelho is wondering about his trip to Santiago, the one in Europe, not in Chile. I am wondering about my trip to the US, and still making some connections about the recent actions with past behavior. I guess, the key is not taking one journey and write about the experience. It is the connections, unlike the transfer flights, this takes less time. It is a mind game, essentially, nothing fancy. Not a beduin of arabia, playing chess without any tools, mind chess..It is needless I guess to put Cafe on one side and attach the first two chapters of Coelho's book, Zahir on the other side.
The size of the wordpad was too large, so I minimized it a little bit, sorry for folks watching me from my back, they will not be able to see me right now. I wish there will be a transference mechanism for my thoughts, because many great thoughts are going to recycle bin in my brain. I directed those smart cells to watch the door, but Zair already poisoned them with love that they don't care about the security any more. Many great ideas are taken to the trash can, although I would litter the street with such ideas, so I can come back and pick them up, collect them and seize the opportunity cost for them. The kind of women I dreamed forever, left me suddenly with some foolish memories, now telling me read the book of Coelho called it Zahir, I am calling you Zair darling, what shall I do to begin with? I take my vitamins, and getting better each moment after every hour. It is like bribing the time machine, give me one extra minute after each cycle of hour, so I can think of Zair without getting late to work, or to brush my teeth, or to go to bed. Tardiness is a bad habit, not as bad as smoking, since it kills your lungs, and everything in your beautiful body. I never tried it, but I heard you did for once, or maybe twice, that's it. I tried to kiss you, thanks to your cheeks, they were fresh as sweat caramela. The doctor recommended me to add extra sugar to my Cafe, but you insisted that the amount of glucose is sufficient in your cheeks. I dreamed about you last minute, it was not like missing the last train in the last second. I don't think of you for a second, maybe for once, then I make it a minute. Wait a minute, where are you now, I was just talking to you? You told me to wait, now you are the one who is on the wanted list. I cannot call you, neither I can check if you are tracing me. Only your sister may shed some light to our future, since I have no idea about your presence and your surroundings.
Considering the trip to the US, and evaluating the impact of four years without hearing from her, it is an matchless comparison between the Santiago trip. If I have a chance, I would close my eyes, and ears, just wait for the water coming from your mouth, heated up with your heart, and as a courtesy of your passion, I would accept your apologies. Now I am alone, feels like in the middle of the desert. Literally, looking for an oasis, still dark outside, shall I wait for you to come down from heaven. You are the candle, you are the source of light. As Coelho says, you are the reason of my presence in this ordinary life. Yes, it is true, we are responsible for our parents, and have duties to Allah, and we have some obligations need to be submited to our countries. We believe in same Allah, we have different countries, so different families, and at the end we love each other. Think like this. Draw a line from the point A, the beginning. Then, take the first line up, and the other down. OK, I admit it, I would stay in the bottom, so I can watch you, it is a shame to look at you from above since I don't see myself skilled and experience in this business. The business so called, our careers, I applause your career efforts, whereas, mine has sinus and cosinus all the time, if I can find some tangent, thanks so much. Keep drawing the lines, pass the point B and C, and then join them at the end of the route, point D.

Dear Darling Sweet Heart, Honey Bee Melon, Tea Corn Sugar, Mickey Mouse and his fiancee,
Promise me that one day we will read these drafts together, just like Coelho's 10th draft becoming a book, and published 3 times. I would donate all the money I would make from making our love an ever inspiring book for the rest of the world. I would donate the money for a cause, and spend some time in places where people are starving for love.

Thanks to Allah, we have our families, and Allah bless them all, everyone's loved ones, their families. Each human-being is precious. And, you Zair. You carved so many memories in my whole-being, nothing could erase you from my body, soul, and mind. Please continue to work on some other formulas to cleanse yourself from me. In the meantime, I will buy more sticky notes to decorate the streets you are passing by from your apartment to work, and back. Each sticky note will have one letter on it. The first letter will be Elif, the name of our first children, inshallah.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Cannot Forget Cannot Decide

Many days, quite a few days past so far. The keyboard is more gentle towards me. I have a pillow behind my back. How you call it? Front part is stomach, the back part is what. Right there, too much pain. Maybe I am a little bit tall, due to that. Too much weight sitting at the top. Not listening to slow tracks. It is about 11pm, getting late. Trying to work until 2am, supposedly waking up by 5-6am. Possible? Cold winter days are coming, and to be honest, I already got flu. Don't message me Zair, my lady, my fairy lady. I wish this blog will recognize me as her boyfriend, or even better, her husband. I wish to receive hourly text messages to my cell phone. It doesn't ring much. Whenever I wake up with the ringtone in the morning, this uses most of the battery life I think. The pillow behind my back is quite comfortable. However, I am not quite this night, tonight. I wish to say a few words about Zair. No music with long story of lyrics are allowed right now. I hear the sound, I decorate it with words on this exclusive route to wisdom, way to love. Redefining the meaning of love in today's world. Had two bad choices in my playlist. I use winamp, yeah, I am old school. Immediately deleted those tracks from my list. The pillow is considerably ok. What if no pillow there, my back hurts, writing under the heat, something like that. Easing up the consequences, still not able to wake up with the call of the prayer from the mosque few meters close to us. Oh not you, you are a little bit far away, and I don't know how further you will hide away from me when I come to Baku. Two months left, and now my military duty is postponed for two more years, I am ready to sail my bike to the Caspian. How would you sail a bike, when you cannot drive a boat, right? I am different, and this is the salt and pepper about us. Us? No more, maybe? It used to be USA, then the first letter in my alphabet, your last name's first letter, A, left me, I got only US. The letter of "S" slowly dispatch towards the middle of the sea to word up S.O.S.

I was about to say again, so what? What is the whole fuss about the seperation four years ago? It happened, it is over, now we are trying to build a future for us? But no, hell no, or hell yeah, I don't decide about the hell, you curse most of the time. I am heavenly pieceful, you play your game, and I will not even knock on the window of Google Web Tracking system called Google Analytics to see if the visitor from Azerbaijan came upon this land. I shall stay silent and try to literally mention all I can.

Imagining a busy life, with a pieceful night. Some love, some joy, some arguments, and some words. Sharing folder will be full of stuff, but we shall decide what to include, what to not? We have filter, we don't drink bottled water. Prefer tap water, more minerals, filtered momentarily. I like that. I like you also but you left me alone, I guess I should stay closer to filtered water. It is pure, transparent, sexy. Third song in the playlist is on, my fingers are getting a little bit tired, but guess what, the third song was half, not full, so here we go. We are rolling in tonight's daily show with Zair and Cafe. I am looking forward to see your comments here, and let everyone watching us in the planet see how miserable I am feeling right now. You shall feel proud, be loud, be proud, like an American Cheerleader in the half-time show. Do you know what you are cheering up for? Enjoy the rest of the night, and tell me please. What is wrong?

Family is an important consept in our traditions. Not mixing up the religions, and discussing them. If you mind, Jewish people are also very close, etc. So, this should not be a topic of religion, but indeed merely purely surely "culture"

We are not having a cultural clash like a girl from village keeping herself away from the sound of the city. We are both city people, we love our lands, and we just cannot get together because we cannot sacrifice.

In Muslim religion, we celebrate a special time once in every year. We sacrifice a chicken, goat, sheep, camel, etc. Whatever we can afford, for the sake of Allah, and then distribute it to the ones who cannot afford to eat meat during the year. Sharing is an important aspect in our religion. We are born to share our wisdom and love towards the betterness of the humanity. See the news, watch the latest headlines. They are talking about billions of dollar loss. Who wins in this game? Who loses? I was hearing about Africa in the US all the time. Africa this, and Africa that. I finished my senior thesis on fair trade coffee, many sad stories in Africa about the game of "aid". They want to trade, but "we" shut them up with "aid."

Dear Zair,

I want to do trade with you. I have too much love kept secure in my savings hormones. No lucky girl had the chance to discriminate, or benefit from these love. Open up the topic of virginity, and I will ban this blog. For some reason, humans are always concerned about the bottom part. The heart and mind are located on the top part. So, ask yourself. Which part is more important? Yes, without the bottom part, we cannot get together and become one. However, with the help of internet, and Google's pretty blog service, blogger, I am approaching to you. No more Skype, no more phone cards, no more e-mails. I wish I can put your phone number in public, so they can call you from all those beautiful countries where my loyal visitors are watching us.

I wish they can call you Zair, why do you put this Cafe bitter? Why do play the bitter songs on the radio? For a while, I played songs for you on the college radio. Did you know that? For a while, I decided to leave my body in the lake. You know, I like fish, so I would die like a fish. Unfortunately, I do not have a fish brain. I cannot forget about you, so the show keeps going on here on this sadly, madly blog.

I learned to press the enter blog, and not sure if one day Google will collapse like the banks around the world. They file bankruptcy reports, basically, they die. If google dies, then creatures coming from Mars will not be able to witness our love. Maybe, they hack the internet already and tracking us down. Unfortunately, Google Analytics currently do not tell me if I have visitors from Mars? I am sure, there are some nice girls visiting this playground from Venus. Oh I love Venus, sorry Zair, but believe me, I would not count on you for Venus. If I win the ticket from this week's lottery, I am going baby. Down with this blog, down with the capitalism. Ooopss, sorry, I mean your capitalism. You cap "I" tallism. You call yourself "I", whereas I call myself you. I am Zair, yes, Cafe is gone, I am deliberately delivering the sound of Zair four years ago. I am not too romantic, I now, otherwise, I would be listening sad, slow songs right now, water these letters with my crying eyes, bitter words will get more sour. Sweet melodies will run dry and dead. Dried fruits are popular in Turkey, we sell these great stuff to the world. What do you sell to the world in Baku? Oil? Caviar? What else? I don't debate with you, in this global world, distances are getting smaller, and there is no single point of discussion to make about who is better and who is right! Don't forget, I used to say I am right, alllll the time, or thyme. Do you like thyme? I like it with meatballs. Not the IKEA Swedish ones. Real, genuine leader (not leather) meatballs. Brrrrrr...Yummy, like your smile, I am slowly sliding down from my pillow.

I am surprised to see no comment on this land of stupidity. I admit, I am stupid. I should have written a book, and then sell it on Amazon. I would work on the grammar, and concentrate on some key concepts to deliver it with a stronger language. Extra sex, extra humor, we would be a best-seller. Why? or Why Not? W is also called double U, to remind. I like double U's. U means you, Zair. And then, you make a U turn and come back to me. U is useful. U is unique. U are wonderful person, and I will not give up on you.

I would give up on my job. The job that I felt a lot of confidence is slowly erasing away from my sight. No single thoughtful person in the sight. Maybe, only the boss, and he is always busy, not concerned about my department. I feel so miserable, not to be with you, to work in this job in this situation with these conditions. I am not working in Chinese toy factories, or other labor discriminated fields. I forget how you call it. Simply say, bad people's bad managed companies employees. Right!

The pillow should have a similar effective reflection in my mind. I fell miserable with the amount of good hormones I produce, and most of them are gone to trash. Not the hormones from the bottom, don't go that far. In our tradition, those hormones will be actively engaged for a better future, don't worry. I am talking about the top priority hormones. Building up new companies in one night stand. Again, a synonmous phrase is used for bottom activities. One night built small company business plans. OK?

When they change the name of Pizza Hut to Pasta Hut in the UK, what do you think? When they ring your bell and tell you it is Dominos Pizza, do you look at your watch to see if it has been more than 30 minutes since you put your order over the phone. It was popular in the US, not they practice it in Turkey. Motorbikes are crazy fast here, not just Pizza, all of them. The busyness is not business. Business is trust, and I am losing the trust of clients due to promises I make but my co-workes, or mainly the boss was unable to keep up with this very small, very less-detailed promises. What an awkward situation? Personally, I am a brand, I am a name, without any stain, that is my promise. But, each foolish day going by, I am losing my trustworthyness. You may like to stay with your confidence area, I am not. I am constantly moving and trying to innovate. In today's world, if you cannot change, you are behind, way behind. I told you many times that I changed. If it was the old Cafe, this blog will be wholly different. I changed, and I am stubborn to find you. Now, I will choose my last song, and conclude this story.

It used to be a dilemma to find daily topics last summer, 2007, while seeking for a job in the US. Now, I deleted the notion of time. Who know what date is today? Without you, I remember the "tomorrow's date" before I go to sleep. Those "dates" are so hot. Cool summer, slow breeze, rainy forests, wavy oceans, from dawn till dusk. I see you baby, shake it your ass, the song called. Another song was about milkshake, etc. Too rude. Sorry, but we have no space for such rudeness.

I already close the page of my mistakes. If I begin to talk about Cafe faults, then I would need to dedicate another blog. There is a difference between immature baby and mature adult. Adult's can work for babies, but babies are not sent by storks. Well, ask for fish, storks can bring you some from the sea, if you want, my sexy baby Zair. I ask the storks in Istanbul, bring me Zair from Caspian Sea, they tell me it is not the migration period. When the time comes for them to migrate to another land, they would tell me that Baku is not on their way. So, my baby. Slow down, drink a glass of water, like me, right now, and look at the mirror, how much do you want to share the rest of your life with me?

Books of drama, drinks of alcohol, smokes of cigarettes are not allowed, sorry. Leave your bad habits behind. I love the nature, and I won't hurt any trees, or ants walking under my feet as I walking...Walking to you...Be careful, I am not running, so don't try to peel bananas and throw them at me. Don't slide me. Don't do this, don't do that, yes, that's enough, free woman. I am sorry, I said I changed, and here we go. I don't mind how you do it, but do something for us, one last time.

Wishing every one a happy new year. See, you think this post was written on New Year's Eve. Yes or no? Tell, be honest, Zair, you answer for everyone. Won't you? Won't you think one last time why we cannot get together, when we understand each other so well. No push, no struggle. We love each other. No push, no struggle, we think about each other every single moment. I don't dream. The balance of my dreams are equal with the amount of work I do for you. Yes, today I am celebrating the paperwork I received from my military duty service. Today is a celebration moment, today is my birthday, or not. When was the day we first met and hang out together? Was it August, or September? Or October? You remember those days perfectly, since you are a perfect woman, and I am your perfect man, here we are moving around with the force of perfect storm. Cold days are coming, and I am looking forward to find a cozy, warm place in Baku to keep myself happy and healthy, FYI (for your information).

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I found my motto in Portofino

The song was like finding the love in Portofino. When the stream of thoughts are running faster than typing fingers, then some thoughts are lost in mind, or somewhere between your brain and fingers. Best guess would be your heart. I suppose I can handle everything with my heart. Today's conversation with co-workers was about Kazakhistan. Imaging the life in the middle asia, reaching finally to the ancestors land of Cafe. Really excited about passing by Zair, and seeing her surprised face. It is not about love anymore. It is about understanding each other. What Zair tells to the universe is that love can last. What cafe is teaching to the galaxy is that people change. So, according to our 3=4 equation, galactic people will conquer the universe and then we will sail with the Noah'a Ark. Don't miss the point. This is how Zair's thoughts are building up. If you want to let your love disappear slowly, try to call her and check how successfully loves are ending up. Loves or laws. I would call it law from now on. Because lawyers make more money than lovers. I have no idea about sinners, but they are supposed to make lots of money as well. Due to the recent flunctuation in the world economy, some people are called to be greedy. I don't press the enter button, I keep typing, since the stream will drain all thoughts for a while, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
Today Azerbaijan is playing their World Cup Final Qualification match with Finland. Turkey's match is with Bosnia and Herzegovina. Good luck to both Azerbaijan and Turkey, for the sake of Zair and Cafe. Well, lady's first. From now, I shall put her name first. Zair Cafe...Can't wait to drink Zair Cafe one last time which will last forever, like an eternal moment.
Now, I imagine the days in one of the Native American villages. It was cold. In the middle of nowhere. It was during the time before her presence in my life. The small village house, called yurt, was built on this location. There was an oven, heating the whole area. Very cozy place, cozy moments. While doing community service, I had only one thing in my mind. Since there was not much source of light, the sky formed a hallo effect. There was a large big circle around the moon. I keep turning around Zair, but she doesn't move, she doesn't call me. Like the big circle around the moon, I keep rotating around her. She is not my Sun, nor my Moon. Allah is providing the furthermost guidance. If we are drunk, still we shall keep our righteous way. Love dunk people sometimes could make mistakes. We all make mistakes, but disregarding the Higher Authority's rules and regulations would be the biggest mistake. So, stop for a minute now. As the Quaker Religion followers do, make a moment of silence. Religions are offering good guidance, as long as we know how to digest it with the modern world demands. Just like forcing the women to cover her hair, there are better, more modern options available. After all, she is gone, what is the point in discussing all these issues.
This time, we were in a church. There was a small concert. They were playing Middle Eastern music. All musicians were American, though. Interesting blend. I happen to make an unnecessary joke about the Virgin Mary statue in the church. Zair didn't like the joke at all. She though it was a discrimination of religions, whereas all religions guide the humans to one way, piece. I was ashamed of my attitude. I did all I can to make her forgive me. After all these years, I still remember that moment of "silence". Indeed, I was loud, and speaking to her, not a genuine silence at all. But, when you go back to that moment, and think how stupid it is to talk nonsense about other religion, with a huge lack of knowledge, then it is a "silence", asking myself over and over again why it was necessary to make such a joke. I listened to the religion of Christianity from a reverant in one church close to my college. It was the uneven times when I was about to lose her. Thinking the possibility of taking her back to where we met, I was uneven, lost, upset. The reverant was very friendly, spoke about his trip to Istanbul, visiting Blue Mosque. Whomever I talk about Turkey, they do mention about Blue Mosque. My ears are turning red, and in the past, during my uneven days, I was normal, but my heart was cripy red. I got cold now, sneezed a few moments ago. What if we were together, and I would make her sick as well. Not thinking about being healthy together, sick together. But, I would eat a raw uncooked chicken for her. Whatever she wants, I would like to hear it now. It was "leave me alone", the last wish I heard from her. I couldn't hear these sentences, when I was away from her. The faith and strong passion I feed towards this relation, always avoid me to forget about her. Imagining our kids lead me to face all sorts of difficulties and adventures in the land of opportunities. Now, still chasing the opportunities in the old school, historical grounds of Anatolia. I have firm belief about my way to happiness. If one's happiness is other's sorrow, what is the point. No, it is not like 3=4. It is not like A is B, B is C, then A is C. Not that philoffy stuff. She accused me of being philosophical in this blog, to me, Cafe is having a big trouble to solve this equation offered by Zair. She thinks that I was graduated with a Math degree. Sorry, I promised to do so, but then give up to finish earlier with a business major, and approach to her quicker. We all have dreams, and I wrote this sentence without looking at the screen. I don't look and lock at the keyboard, I know how tired the keys on the keyboard are, but they are the keys to my happiness. Here, I am offering some coffee break for busy people, business people, home lovers, sipping their cafes. Would you sleep or sip or slip? Imagine one cup of coffee, and think what you can do with it. For me, I would finish the mysterious cup of Turkish coffee as soon as possible, and close it. Open it up to read the grounds forming mystic images. Where are you Zair? You promised to meet me in this cup. Where are you? You were not waiting for me in bus stop we arranged, build together in the border of your wake-up time, and my best sleepy moments. I try to use the two hour time difference between us wisely enough. I wish you a happy new year, because it may not be a nice happy new year's eve for you, when I am in the land of nowhere for me. I would be lost in Baku, and I will enjoy it without you. I am not following you, I am not a maniac. I am following my destiny. I met you, I loved you, I fed my strong belief to do once what you want from me. Could not give up on my goals, when you offered me a hand in Baku, to study there together. Now, I am turning all my investments towards the city of Baku. If you read this post, please comment about Baku, and tell our loyal readers what is the meaning of Baku? I will be back later, just cannot put a final dot. If I have a boat to sail in Caspian Sea, would you come with me, so you can push me to the sea, and let me sink there. I am like a bottle, I will come back to the surface, don't worry. I am personally a message in a bottle. I am coming to your land for a while to give this message. You will have some time, don't worry. No tests are required. Bring in one piece of mind, and no glasses are allowed to cover your olive eyes. I forget to drink my shot of olive oil in the morning, to clean up my stomach. Would you kiss me one last time, so I can recover my loss of morning cleansing shot, and I love you a lot, just a lot to keep posting my past and present and future.
Signed and dated by: Cafe...

Sedona Perfumery is proud to sponsor Cafe and Zair Moments

Dear Loyal Visitors, passengers, people and children...
I personally put myself in the children category :-)
Finally, we manage to decorate our blog with rare perfumes offered by Sedona Perfumery (an Amazon.com store). Please visit their website for very hard-to-find perfumes. They shipped to many countries around the world.
Here is a quick summary from their company profile. We will continue with more Cafe and Zair moments later on...Keep in touch...

Since February, 2008, we successfully shipped to the following countries:

AU - Australia
BE - Belgium
BR - Brazil
CA - Canada
CH - Switzerland
CO - Colombia
DE - Germany
DK - Denmark
ES - Spain
FI - Finland
FR - France
GB - United Kingdom
GR - Greece
HU - Hungary
IE - Ireland
IL - Israel
IT - Italy
JP - Japan
NL - Netherlands
PL - Poland
PT - Portugal
SE - Sweden
SK - Slovak Republic
USA - United States of America

From USA, we shipped to the following states:

Sedona Perfumery - Worldwide Shipping, Hard-To-Find Fragrances

Friday, October 10, 2008

Karabagh Genocide ??? and my mind...

Yes, indeed. We will discuss this political matter soon.
For now, I shut my mouth. And, share this..As always, the blog is managed by the narrator, and the stories we post are all a result of Cafe and Zahir relation. We will not discuss politics unless it relates to the grapes of wisdom, and the wine of love.
Kissing the inner part of my arm muscle, between the armpit and elbow.
It feels like her cheeks.
Offf and offffff....a middle eastern sigh, offffffffffff and offfffffffff.....

Watched the movie Navajo Joe..The native american man and the woman, like Cafe and Zair. Indeed, Cafe and Zair met in the naive deserts of Navajos, Hopes, and other tribes in the Southern USA.

I may go to the past in a bit, if I can solve my problems with the present. Going to the past times is quite easy. Lying under the sun, or merely watching the stars which are in fact watching us. In fact or indeed, I know one reality is that I do not what she is up to? What Zair is doing while I am shouting to the world why these moments are being lost. These moments are being reflected from deep in my heart to my mind and then ending up in this blog, wishing for shooting stars to chase the dirty, bad, disturbing feelings around her mind which is sending bad, bad, bad signals to her beautiful heart. Her heart is already conquered by mine, just the mind is upset with the past, and as I said, the past can be archieved, and then opened up. Just like Armenian Genocide, Turkish Genocide, and Karabagh Genocide. If the archieves are opened wholeheaertedly, the world will face the real facts, rather than fake facts. I am telling what is right what is wrong. I am solely concerned with my love being discriminated by some eyes. Some eyes are looking passionately, some are blank. Her eyes were always full, and I would prefer to watch the TV, I would prefer to look at her. To date her, forget it, I would just sit next to her and stare at her eyes. I will not bid on any girls for that, but her eyes are like the candle in the sky. I never saw one, but yes, this candle is flying...It keeps moving back and forth.
Now, I am a little bit sick. No, I am not "sick of this situation". I am sick sick. Yes, the weathers are changing, and I cut my hair, so I can move forward quicker. I am coming to Zair. I don't expect any hospitability. Today, I shared this plan with two friends. One of them is the barber, and the other is my doctor. Yes, it is true, I miss you, but I cannot love you Zair, if you hide behind, or deny this passion. I would preserve my love, and believe me it is still fresh, just like Turkish Homemade Jelly (or Jam). No preservatives, nada, nothing, don't worry. As you are concerned about your health, me either. In today's world, living in the city left only one choice, live organic. Don't know how your fruits and vegetables are being offered to you in the market, still have limited access to the ones that you know the quality. I know the quality of this love, but not sure about the expiration date. I would say I will love you until I am gone. I am gone with the wind, but the storm wasn't in the plan. Don't twist me up and down, I am done, let me go, meaning, let me come. Shut the door, leave your life, I mean live your life, of course, I am not, but what am I to you? I am not, but what you are to me? Think about it, fasten your seat belt, because it will be a short trip.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Turkish Genocide DVD ??? and Deep in My Heart !!!

Will have more comments about this. Now, let me post today's news from deep in my heart:

Writing these words while I am offline. It will be a pleasure to copy all these "nonsense" "unloved" feelings within one click, and paste them all on this cozy blog within one shot. Unlike drinking the full alcohol drink in one shot, this will be more sober. No idea about being drunk, but became an expert about being love-dunk. Not a donkey, me, oh no, or well yes, maybe a goat waiting on the bridge crossing from Turkey to Azerbaijan. It is not Axier-Bye-Jaan, or Tour-Key. Don't forget the exclamation mark, and the explanation part. Still in love with her absence, cannot imagine my love with her presence. Maybe I said this before, but it is true and I am in love with her wholesome. If she is a kind of bread, will I call her 10 grains whole wheat sophisticated extravaganza bread, or simple pure white bread, oh don't forget, the thick, dense, Russian black bread. Well, I will choose none of them. Too much bread is unhealthy. Yes, some is necessary, and can be replaced with another type of carbohydrate in your diet. Is it carbohydrate or something else, I forget, no internet, cannot spell check. Too crowded in my mind, still ready just like 2 days ago, or since she left me alone. Still ready to departure for Baku, waiting for a new life, interesting, humble, and simple. Yes, indeed, I come from the middle asia, my ancestors were nomads. Really ready to become the new era, new generation of sales nomad, or nomadic sales. Don't know if it is cool, or fool to run around away from homeland, but have my reasons ready and all set. I heard people write on internet forums when they escape from their daily routine of work life, I disagree with that, here I am sharing my plan, inspiring some, and entertaining others. It is all about Cafe pleasure, sizzling feeling, unlike a KFC chicken, or McDonald's French Fries, or Starbucks Somepresso. Living in a life without internet would lead me to one thing, to think. To think how I will keep constructing my steps, my bold steps to Baku, to her motherland, to her beloved city. Visited this mysterious location more than four years ago, heard about the new improvements in life styles, living situations, etc. Wasn't bad at all four years ago, but don't imagine it as another Dubai, in fact wouldn't like to see Dubai Version 2 (Converted from Old City Baku). Oh yeah, they still preserve the oldies old city Baku. We say in Turkish Baki, which means smart, I think, like to say "stay baki", "stay conscious", or does it translate into another meaning, like, like her, her Le y (and) her La. Looking at my lips, seemed like her lips (ok without the lipstick:), on the rear window while driving, ok, don't worry I didn't drive the car, just sitting on the passenger seat, looking at the passing cars, imagining my past enthusiasm. Life was full of all that sort of feelings, good feelings, happy feelings, creative and optimistic feelings. The realities dropped the pressure for a while, than paused the life for a while. Oh no, it wasn't like today's HD Televisions, no plasma or LCD at all, yes, it was four years ago, or say three. But, it was uncommon to see. So, pausing was messy, not quality, losing the view, then it rained and snowed, sun rise, and dawn, we lost the connection. Nomad Cafe travelled around the US, jumped from one college to another, mixed all sorts of classes, then ended up finishing college vollege bollege in three years. So, 4 is not always equals to 4. I made it equal to 3. I tried to tighten the stone, thought it will be a thorn. Didn't try to put my hands in bloody, like they say in England, oh bloody life, bloody car, etc. Not meaning killing, but shitty, I guess, it was translated into this. I prepared a space in my mind, not calling it bloody, or shitty, but pretty. And the thorn in my hand was a result of all the roses I picked up fresh from the garden to decorate this space. Went to the mosque before 11am, to check what's going on, what is right, what is not. All Paulo Coelho dramas contain a skim milk of sex content. I never mention that, won't do that, because it is supposed to be sacred. As we are mixing all sorts of stuff together to think we are creative, and so. Life is simple, we are making it complex at all. Don't want to discuss how HIV Virus began. The real virus is in our minds, just need to cleanse, tone, and moisturize. Well, also protect, the sunshine is dangerous nowadays. We made the ozone layer disappear, and she did my lovely protection... Don't want to accuse her, but cannot understand the three big letters, WHY? Three big letters, but four characters in total. See, once again, 4 is not equal to 3. I would wait for her to marry someone else. Can't hold another girl's hand, without confirming her independance. Since I declared my addiction, and being prescribed to take "her" drugs, the drugs that drag me down and up, now holds me alive, but not live, thinking about being alive in the past with her, unknown livability mobility, forgetibility, maybility. If I add a new word meaning her passion, her relations, her devotion, and her divorsion, will wikipedia accept my entry. Can't put her attitude in one word, if me another men, he would say **** Off. Me as person of faith, person from Sufism to Mevlana, person from complexity to simplicity, will only tell her, or just tell to the mountains, because she doesn't listen to me anymore. What am I gonna say? Hmmm. Nothing left at all. I remember her name, is it enough?, I would cry out her name in such way from the nearest Turkish hills to the further mountains in Turkey, than to all mountains in the Eastern part, coming towards Baku, passing Himalayas, matching all echos and sounds, traveling around the world. Her name will travel around the world at the speed of light, well no, keep it slower, no rush, since she will still close her eyes, ears, and other parts like lips, since I am not allowed to kiss. Would you let someone kiss you, indeed you are prohibited to speak with her. Believe, just staring at her would be acceptable. Only seeing her eyes, and solve the quantum physics in her physical being. I wanna discover her mental being, because I know there is something else is hidden behind her virtual image. The internet is still not on, but me, I am turned on, I am turned on to tell this young men and women to stop the war, make piece forever. The wars should be over, putting reasons behind the goal of wars is nonsense. If I try to say I hate her after all, will it seem logical at all. No, please, leave the sugar, I prefer my cafe simple, my cafe naive and, and, and Frank Sinatra concludes my untidy sentences, he is singing in the rain, walking under the rain, and we all walking under the rain of my thoughts keeping up my desire. Wanna say thanks to the beautiful Azeri person who visited my blog consecutively since the seperation. It is a pleasure to see the visits growing from 1 to 1, and then another 1, each day. Is it her new bf? Or another beautiful girl, although don't think there is another girl like her, Azeri not another origin. She is Original. It feels like a small girl shut the door in front me, chased me first, left me then, watches me now. Opening the door whenever she likes, since I don't put a security cam on the blog, to see who is watching me, or not. Just able to track loyal visitors down with Google Analytics, free service, quality feeds. This love was free indeed, and feed me with quality things. Shall I say things, or thorns again, because my heart is broken, her heart was broken many times, and she is fed up now. The mosque that I visited 2 hours ago now sings the prayer. No, it has not been two hours since I said the first word in this ocean of words. Open her eyes, let her see me, I am not angry, just curious to see her face, when she will need to..She will maybe see, maybe hide more when I come to Baku, but I am excited to return to my nomadic style after less than a year experience in Turkey. You read this all, don't think "I" is me, me is "I". "I" is Cafe, and I love Cafe. No, Cafe doesn't love Cafe, I, me the narrator, loves Cafe. We, or me, or I, is only a narrator, the bridge between Cafe and Zair. Poisoned once, and now writing continuously about this broken hearts. I called the people who sweeps the streets, they respect this love, don't want to trash it away. I indeed and in fact, and in love, never expected to trash her. Will not trash her, until I see her, and offer my proposal. Make my proposal, or say however you like. The prayers end now, and Allah is great, he makes the plan, so the last dot here ends.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Armenian Genocide DVD ???

Yes, I wouldn't believe this unless I will see it with my eyes. But, sorry to see this:

Google Ads displayed this ad on my friendly blog:

"Armenian Genocide DVD

Critically Acclaimed Worldwide DVD for 20% off retail just $24.95!"

I guess, I need to promote some other informative DVD series that will be "as helpful as" this one.

It is interesting that Armenia is between Turkey and Azerbaijan, two lovers of our Cafe Zahir series cast members. Turkish Cafe and Azeri Zahir.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Austin-Leyland Tractor Old School

Today, google required me to sign to the blogger, although I was already signed in to Gmail. It is similar to being signed in to you, but still you are requiring me to sign in over and over again. Here is my new BG picture. It is very inspiring :-))

Although I feel that she slowly dissolves in my life, my passion to go and live in her city for a while grows day after day. Hard to imagine why we need to do the things we did before. But, it sounds needless to ask why, rather to say Thanks God, this is over, as the patience is the best virtue.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Paulo Coelho - Zahir ... here begins..

I begin to write short poems for a person I adore. I become the narrator for the sake of this connection. Tried to be a bridge, but due to latest technology, bridges are collapsed and replaced with light speed transfer room, like Star Trek. Enter one room and press the button to send you somewhere in the galaxy. Don't have a passion to survive in the large world of writers, singers, literature. Just trying to skim the milk of wisdom. It has been four long years, seemed like it will never pass. At least, now I look at the future which is coming very fast, and I try to skim the milk of wisdom slowly but surely, knowing what I am really trying to accomplish. Attempted to contact her a couple of times, though felt bad about bothering her. I am lost in her world, and I am sure she already use that latest hi-tech stuff to ensure best view on her computer. I admire the keyboard, each finger tapping on any key is honored to approach her one letter closer. The last dot is hidden between her lips, willing to hear it, but cannot resist it. Never do something that you will regret, and leaving her alone in her beautiful country will be something that I will regret forever. I always mumbled mine is right, yours is not. Now, the time to communicate finally arrived, though lost the connection again. Sorry, but there is no wireless in this town, so got to have an ethernet cable, but not sure which color. Blue or yellow, pink or black. I offer her the options, it is a pleasure to deny the right to choose. I made my choice while preparing the ballot for her. Vote for her, never mind me, I will be the Vice Pres. I am not impressed with her own dilemma, creating her own little scenario, and chasing her strong beliefs. Well, if lies are to be adores like realities, then realities are lost within lies, or let's call it thinkings. Twinings is a good flavor tea, especially when you add it to regular Earl Grey Black Turkish Tea. It is not like opening the Turkish carpet and sitting in the center. I already told her that I am not moving around the world, or stayin in the center. I don't mind two windows open on my sides, but let me have my own little world with my own little feelings that I fed so far. They are not cage birds. They are organic, and cage free birds. All eggs are organic and cage free, so. In these days, when we are not sure what we eat, at least give me a chance to speak, listen and read your eyes. This is my invitation to you to think twice. Or, take your time, as I will come next to you, you will make more mature decisions to see if we can survive together, or we shall dispose our batteries.

Tracking the last steps of wisdom

If it is a wise decision to track you down, then here I come.
Some decisions are to be made, like an asphalt road..
You have to water the asphalt, once it is constructed.

My heart is covered with asphalt, so you can drive your SUV on it, safely. No bumps, or holes..Very smooth drive..Unfortunately, it is not listed as highway yet, so you will have a speed limit. I wonder how many passengers you can drive, while I am being swallowing the exhaust gas. I wish you have tested your vehicle for exhaust emissions. Toyota is an environmentally friendly car manufacturer, but I don't believe it is Toyota's fault, but yours? Keep driving your SUV on my newly constructed asphalt road. Well, it is not a highway, also it is not even a road. Maybe, only a short dead-end street. Yes darling, it is dead-end, so once you enter, there is no exit. You have to pull your SUV backwards, and there are a lot trees, to keep the oxygen level high in my heart. You won't be able to see your back, while driving. So, please be careful, stay here for some time. You will see, we are very hospitable. We are not maniac though. We don't need visitors who are not respectful. We are just humans, waiting to hear from long-waited passengers to stop by our newly built house. Newly built life.