Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

When it hurts, I know it is there

I just hit my head, accidentally, well, the accident was coming. I hope a hillside beach club will not be formed on my forehead. I wish I could receive a phone call from you, when you read these lines, Ms. Zair. My head aches a lot, my heart is same. If they don't ache, are we gonna know they really play a crucial part in our lives. My head aches a lot now, and there is no ice in the office, I try to put a glass of cold water, touching the glass part. My head aches now, and I hope you are safe in my brain. Maybe I lost a few brain cells, and...
I contacted your sister for a job in Baku, but no response yet. Of course, she is busy with her newborn baby, I am dying, what a pure dilemma in my life. Recently, a Turkish journalist died in Baku during his trip. The cause was heart attack. He had a quote saying he would want to die in Baku. May Allah bless his faults, give "rahmet".
I want to get old with you, and I will keep repeating myself. You have your own choices, I don't know which dressings you would like to use for your own salad. I ordered Turkish Salad, but they have Italian, as well. What do you admire most? I admire you, really. I am losing my patience, I am ready to sell lemons on Baku streets. I would register a company, and begin selling lemons on the street. I would just require a studio apartment, even a rental room with a local family will be acceptable. I just want to breathe the same air. I would repeat this as well. Now the electricity is gone one more time, but now my laptop battery works, yeah I know, my battery is interesting. My head aches, and I don't know who will look after me in Baku. I wish to know, but nobody tells me. I hope to find peace in Baku, finally. But, my head keeps aching, and I don't want to see balloon shaped head on the mirror. I am hopeful, I am optimistic. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see the train coming to me. I wish I can come to Baku with train, it is still under construction, I guess I will take the flight. Will it be one-way, or round trip, of course no choice. I shall keep one of my legs in Istanbul to check my folks. I miss you so much, and I guess I will start lobbying with people who knew us. If they also tell you how much I adore you, will things be different? I know your angry moments, and I know sometimes it passes away. This time, you were certain, maybe I just don't want to admit the truth. I would take the streets of Baku as New York City. Don't worry, I have no limits in my imagination boundaries. No limits for other things, but here is not the place to talk such topics like that. One small short and slim quote from my brain, whatever is left after I hit my head. It keeps giving me error, lack of Zair, lack of Zair. I take my vitamins each day, I can easily replace milk with Calcium organic vitamins, vegetables with daily vitamins, fish with omega vitamins, I just cannot replace you in my diet. I keep trying, but the journey is coming to an end, and I am coming to your boundaries. If I can walk on the same pavement you walk to your office, I would feel priveleged to face the cold winter, no worries. I will keep preparing myself mentally and physically, I am just not sure if your sister will be able to help me. Because, I have noone in your land, but I am ready to be nobody in yours faithfully, sincerely, kind regards, beautiful words, cozy street lights, dreamy eyes, comb-me hair, sweet cheeks, kissable lips, all of you...

Deep Note: Today was not a good day at all, not productive, but mentally thought-provocative. And, I hit my head. It should be a pleasure to witness the evolution of this book, so called, Zair and me (Cafe).

Warning: The narrator has no association with the characters in story. His only wish is to be inspiring for new couples, love lovers, movie makers..

Thanks to Feedjit, new widget in my blog, and dear world, I love Zair, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I am in prison. They only give a piece of laptop, not to do lap dance, but do some mind dancing. What is it? It is about mining, thinking about what I did wrong that they put me in this lonely prison. Of course, I am not talking about real, square room, iron bars, securities, cameras, etc. I am talking about the "real" prison feeling in normal life. If my heart is chained, and my mind is locked for one special girl, I cannot think of any future for my kids. I am thinking about a happy life, with a love marriage, not monetary marriage. Look at your surroundings. How many families are able to give their kids needed time? We are all in a rush. I am personally in a rush as well, to build up my life financially. But, during this rush, Zair misunderstood me, and took me as someone who doesn't care about her feelings. Her feelings of loss. I have no power left to struggle anymore. I contacted her sister to arrange somewhere to live in her city. As long as I breath the same air, it is OK. At least, I would improve my common senses with her. Currently, I feel that we still love each other, and our hearts beat together, so this is one sense. Second sense would be the air, same air we will breath. I have no doubt if we may improve this further, but I would be satisfied to keep my struggle and aim further. I am optimist and realistic. I don't deny the past, but I cannot wait for the future. This present time is a struggle, and thanks to the new widget in my blog, I just saw her entry from Azerbaijan. Maybe, she told her friends about this place of sadness, place of sorrow, dancing floor of broken hearts. Still, there is news from her country, by this special visit. I feel like hearing from my folks supposedly I am living lonely in a desert. No communications, but somewhere over the mountains, a call is coming, like the call of the prayer. I miss you Zair, I wish I can see you when you visit this blog. I wish I can put my eyes on this blog, so I can record your beauty further. I threw away all your pictures, videos together. I regret. I have nothing left, only one picture from your recent visit to Turkey. Shame on me. Stupid me that I forget all the time to record beautiful moments. But it is OK. As I thought before, all memories are recorded in my mind, my beautiful mind. Allah forgives our sins, we deserve a future together. A future happy, healthy and horny:) No of course, the last word is joke, we need to smile sometimes, so don't forget, smile to the camera, and say Cafe, no Cheese. I say Zair to the camera, when they take a picture. You know, I know. Now, everyone knows.