Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Cannot Forget Cannot Decide

Many days, quite a few days past so far. The keyboard is more gentle towards me. I have a pillow behind my back. How you call it? Front part is stomach, the back part is what. Right there, too much pain. Maybe I am a little bit tall, due to that. Too much weight sitting at the top. Not listening to slow tracks. It is about 11pm, getting late. Trying to work until 2am, supposedly waking up by 5-6am. Possible? Cold winter days are coming, and to be honest, I already got flu. Don't message me Zair, my lady, my fairy lady. I wish this blog will recognize me as her boyfriend, or even better, her husband. I wish to receive hourly text messages to my cell phone. It doesn't ring much. Whenever I wake up with the ringtone in the morning, this uses most of the battery life I think. The pillow behind my back is quite comfortable. However, I am not quite this night, tonight. I wish to say a few words about Zair. No music with long story of lyrics are allowed right now. I hear the sound, I decorate it with words on this exclusive route to wisdom, way to love. Redefining the meaning of love in today's world. Had two bad choices in my playlist. I use winamp, yeah, I am old school. Immediately deleted those tracks from my list. The pillow is considerably ok. What if no pillow there, my back hurts, writing under the heat, something like that. Easing up the consequences, still not able to wake up with the call of the prayer from the mosque few meters close to us. Oh not you, you are a little bit far away, and I don't know how further you will hide away from me when I come to Baku. Two months left, and now my military duty is postponed for two more years, I am ready to sail my bike to the Caspian. How would you sail a bike, when you cannot drive a boat, right? I am different, and this is the salt and pepper about us. Us? No more, maybe? It used to be USA, then the first letter in my alphabet, your last name's first letter, A, left me, I got only US. The letter of "S" slowly dispatch towards the middle of the sea to word up S.O.S.

I was about to say again, so what? What is the whole fuss about the seperation four years ago? It happened, it is over, now we are trying to build a future for us? But no, hell no, or hell yeah, I don't decide about the hell, you curse most of the time. I am heavenly pieceful, you play your game, and I will not even knock on the window of Google Web Tracking system called Google Analytics to see if the visitor from Azerbaijan came upon this land. I shall stay silent and try to literally mention all I can.

Imagining a busy life, with a pieceful night. Some love, some joy, some arguments, and some words. Sharing folder will be full of stuff, but we shall decide what to include, what to not? We have filter, we don't drink bottled water. Prefer tap water, more minerals, filtered momentarily. I like that. I like you also but you left me alone, I guess I should stay closer to filtered water. It is pure, transparent, sexy. Third song in the playlist is on, my fingers are getting a little bit tired, but guess what, the third song was half, not full, so here we go. We are rolling in tonight's daily show with Zair and Cafe. I am looking forward to see your comments here, and let everyone watching us in the planet see how miserable I am feeling right now. You shall feel proud, be loud, be proud, like an American Cheerleader in the half-time show. Do you know what you are cheering up for? Enjoy the rest of the night, and tell me please. What is wrong?

Family is an important consept in our traditions. Not mixing up the religions, and discussing them. If you mind, Jewish people are also very close, etc. So, this should not be a topic of religion, but indeed merely purely surely "culture"

We are not having a cultural clash like a girl from village keeping herself away from the sound of the city. We are both city people, we love our lands, and we just cannot get together because we cannot sacrifice.

In Muslim religion, we celebrate a special time once in every year. We sacrifice a chicken, goat, sheep, camel, etc. Whatever we can afford, for the sake of Allah, and then distribute it to the ones who cannot afford to eat meat during the year. Sharing is an important aspect in our religion. We are born to share our wisdom and love towards the betterness of the humanity. See the news, watch the latest headlines. They are talking about billions of dollar loss. Who wins in this game? Who loses? I was hearing about Africa in the US all the time. Africa this, and Africa that. I finished my senior thesis on fair trade coffee, many sad stories in Africa about the game of "aid". They want to trade, but "we" shut them up with "aid."

Dear Zair,

I want to do trade with you. I have too much love kept secure in my savings hormones. No lucky girl had the chance to discriminate, or benefit from these love. Open up the topic of virginity, and I will ban this blog. For some reason, humans are always concerned about the bottom part. The heart and mind are located on the top part. So, ask yourself. Which part is more important? Yes, without the bottom part, we cannot get together and become one. However, with the help of internet, and Google's pretty blog service, blogger, I am approaching to you. No more Skype, no more phone cards, no more e-mails. I wish I can put your phone number in public, so they can call you from all those beautiful countries where my loyal visitors are watching us.

I wish they can call you Zair, why do you put this Cafe bitter? Why do play the bitter songs on the radio? For a while, I played songs for you on the college radio. Did you know that? For a while, I decided to leave my body in the lake. You know, I like fish, so I would die like a fish. Unfortunately, I do not have a fish brain. I cannot forget about you, so the show keeps going on here on this sadly, madly blog.

I learned to press the enter blog, and not sure if one day Google will collapse like the banks around the world. They file bankruptcy reports, basically, they die. If google dies, then creatures coming from Mars will not be able to witness our love. Maybe, they hack the internet already and tracking us down. Unfortunately, Google Analytics currently do not tell me if I have visitors from Mars? I am sure, there are some nice girls visiting this playground from Venus. Oh I love Venus, sorry Zair, but believe me, I would not count on you for Venus. If I win the ticket from this week's lottery, I am going baby. Down with this blog, down with the capitalism. Ooopss, sorry, I mean your capitalism. You cap "I" tallism. You call yourself "I", whereas I call myself you. I am Zair, yes, Cafe is gone, I am deliberately delivering the sound of Zair four years ago. I am not too romantic, I now, otherwise, I would be listening sad, slow songs right now, water these letters with my crying eyes, bitter words will get more sour. Sweet melodies will run dry and dead. Dried fruits are popular in Turkey, we sell these great stuff to the world. What do you sell to the world in Baku? Oil? Caviar? What else? I don't debate with you, in this global world, distances are getting smaller, and there is no single point of discussion to make about who is better and who is right! Don't forget, I used to say I am right, alllll the time, or thyme. Do you like thyme? I like it with meatballs. Not the IKEA Swedish ones. Real, genuine leader (not leather) meatballs. Brrrrrr...Yummy, like your smile, I am slowly sliding down from my pillow.

I am surprised to see no comment on this land of stupidity. I admit, I am stupid. I should have written a book, and then sell it on Amazon. I would work on the grammar, and concentrate on some key concepts to deliver it with a stronger language. Extra sex, extra humor, we would be a best-seller. Why? or Why Not? W is also called double U, to remind. I like double U's. U means you, Zair. And then, you make a U turn and come back to me. U is useful. U is unique. U are wonderful person, and I will not give up on you.

I would give up on my job. The job that I felt a lot of confidence is slowly erasing away from my sight. No single thoughtful person in the sight. Maybe, only the boss, and he is always busy, not concerned about my department. I feel so miserable, not to be with you, to work in this job in this situation with these conditions. I am not working in Chinese toy factories, or other labor discriminated fields. I forget how you call it. Simply say, bad people's bad managed companies employees. Right!

The pillow should have a similar effective reflection in my mind. I fell miserable with the amount of good hormones I produce, and most of them are gone to trash. Not the hormones from the bottom, don't go that far. In our tradition, those hormones will be actively engaged for a better future, don't worry. I am talking about the top priority hormones. Building up new companies in one night stand. Again, a synonmous phrase is used for bottom activities. One night built small company business plans. OK?

When they change the name of Pizza Hut to Pasta Hut in the UK, what do you think? When they ring your bell and tell you it is Dominos Pizza, do you look at your watch to see if it has been more than 30 minutes since you put your order over the phone. It was popular in the US, not they practice it in Turkey. Motorbikes are crazy fast here, not just Pizza, all of them. The busyness is not business. Business is trust, and I am losing the trust of clients due to promises I make but my co-workes, or mainly the boss was unable to keep up with this very small, very less-detailed promises. What an awkward situation? Personally, I am a brand, I am a name, without any stain, that is my promise. But, each foolish day going by, I am losing my trustworthyness. You may like to stay with your confidence area, I am not. I am constantly moving and trying to innovate. In today's world, if you cannot change, you are behind, way behind. I told you many times that I changed. If it was the old Cafe, this blog will be wholly different. I changed, and I am stubborn to find you. Now, I will choose my last song, and conclude this story.

It used to be a dilemma to find daily topics last summer, 2007, while seeking for a job in the US. Now, I deleted the notion of time. Who know what date is today? Without you, I remember the "tomorrow's date" before I go to sleep. Those "dates" are so hot. Cool summer, slow breeze, rainy forests, wavy oceans, from dawn till dusk. I see you baby, shake it your ass, the song called. Another song was about milkshake, etc. Too rude. Sorry, but we have no space for such rudeness.

I already close the page of my mistakes. If I begin to talk about Cafe faults, then I would need to dedicate another blog. There is a difference between immature baby and mature adult. Adult's can work for babies, but babies are not sent by storks. Well, ask for fish, storks can bring you some from the sea, if you want, my sexy baby Zair. I ask the storks in Istanbul, bring me Zair from Caspian Sea, they tell me it is not the migration period. When the time comes for them to migrate to another land, they would tell me that Baku is not on their way. So, my baby. Slow down, drink a glass of water, like me, right now, and look at the mirror, how much do you want to share the rest of your life with me?

Books of drama, drinks of alcohol, smokes of cigarettes are not allowed, sorry. Leave your bad habits behind. I love the nature, and I won't hurt any trees, or ants walking under my feet as I walking...Walking to you...Be careful, I am not running, so don't try to peel bananas and throw them at me. Don't slide me. Don't do this, don't do that, yes, that's enough, free woman. I am sorry, I said I changed, and here we go. I don't mind how you do it, but do something for us, one last time.

Wishing every one a happy new year. See, you think this post was written on New Year's Eve. Yes or no? Tell, be honest, Zair, you answer for everyone. Won't you? Won't you think one last time why we cannot get together, when we understand each other so well. No push, no struggle. We love each other. No push, no struggle, we think about each other every single moment. I don't dream. The balance of my dreams are equal with the amount of work I do for you. Yes, today I am celebrating the paperwork I received from my military duty service. Today is a celebration moment, today is my birthday, or not. When was the day we first met and hang out together? Was it August, or September? Or October? You remember those days perfectly, since you are a perfect woman, and I am your perfect man, here we are moving around with the force of perfect storm. Cold days are coming, and I am looking forward to find a cozy, warm place in Baku to keep myself happy and healthy, FYI (for your information).