Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Relationship consultation management

I began to feel like a relationship consultant.
Or, the counselor of relations between Baku and Istanbul.

Due to high demand from Zair, Cafe needs to announce that there has been one unlucky incident during the phase of our relationship establishment. For some reason, men tend to forget about their guilty moments, indeed women never forgets.

It was the beginning of the relationship as Cafe says. Very pure, and as naive as possible. Like wishing for the shooting stars to kiss her lips. Something like that..
When the shooting star is replaced with the meteor, the conditions are different.
I believe the jealous eyes of the community feeling lots of empathy (opposite of sympathy) towards Zair Cafe. Yes, it was Zair Cafe during that time, since Zair amazed the Cafe with her smart beauty. In fact, now Cafe is trying to keep the ropes to ride their horses together for the future. And, now it is in process to be called Cafe Zair. Anyways, meteor was coming to the enthusiasm of this wonderful relationship. It was like a husband and wife in high school, where people were experiencing immature relations, whereas Zair Cafe seemed like the master of relations, as if being married for many years.
Long story short, Zair touched Cafe's senses at one time, I don't remember what was it about specifically, but Zair was always playing under the belly (like boxing). Shouting words that anyone should always be cautious of..
Cafe hit Zair, unfortunately. It was a result of lots of attention being drawn upon their relation, possibly.

I would like to copy Zair's most recent testimonial here. So, she can understand how much Cafe wants to be Cafe Zair from now on. Whatever needed to be proven will be proven to let her understand this quantum physics relation between Ying and Yang, or Cafe and Zair, or simply the foolishness of amor.

"then u call urself man...when u cant accpet that u are a s*** by hitting woman.///u are afraid to tell that....everything u write there (this blog) is faek...cauz u hide the truth"

"from site, we can see that she is a crazy lady that refuses the purest and sweetest love, but u are afrasid to give reasons, to show the real reasons....cauz if you show them alll beauty of ur site will disappear and you will shown like a heyvan (animal) that hits woman, and is not able to protect her"

I hope these two quotes were satisfactory enough for her own Ego.

I don't drink Coca Cola Zero, but I have Zero EGO. I don't mind to share the truth, as long as it is been described fairly.

Be fair to me, I be there waiting for you forever.

All these years, I try to configure my mind to live without her, Cafe says.
Now, this blog is an escape point for all those hidden, depressed thoughts being frozen for an unknown expiration date.

I let them expire now. Everybody can begin to eat these thoughts, chew it slowly, because it was frozen. I feel like a gum she is chewing. Chewing, and chewing, but just cannot spit it out. I wish to get lost in her stomach, to go through her throat. But, hey fella', wait a minute, there is no access to hollywood, and I don't want to be a movie star by embracing the world of hatred being well-preserved in her. Let is snow, let it snow until this Christmas. On New Years Eve, I will celebrate my patience's virtue, finally. When the world began to speak what is the level of amor in this reaction of relation.

Merry Christmas, or Marry Me. Your choice Ms. Zair.

P.S: There is nothing philosophical about this post, as I went through the whole piece once again. It is pure amateur literature, that's it. For those of you who can celebrate this post, enjoy it. For those throwing stones at it, be careful, "Baby is inside".

Here we go again...

I wonder what type of affair is my desire classified.

I also wonder what I am being accused of...

Seeing another girl in my dream, and sharing this with my woman. And, this woman thinks I won't be able to marry her, instead I will marry the girl appeared in my dream like a commercial.

I have been watching this documentary, or even better to say, drama, or maybe soap opera since 2004. I am not quite a fan of this. But, I am addicted. No smoking, no drinking, but addicted to this woman, even if she is not around. Yes, addicted. Like a spray of perfume on my clothing, the smell lasts forever. Like a tasty dish of olive oil dolma, her taste is eternal. Even though she thinks Cafe is boring, Zair will marry Cafe, and I am hoping to open another branch of Cafe Alaturca, named Cafe Zair.


Anger Management

For a while, my posts could be like tomatoes smashing the window of her car. Easily, those tomatoes will become daisies, lilies, and then small bees, to make some honey inshallah.

I hate you I miss you Don't you dare?

Yes, now this blog has a new etiquette.
She calls it "phylisophical writings on site"

I leave the argument to the public, if this blog is anywhere close to being Philosophical?

I try to keep this blog in the boundaries of literature.

A person from the heart of Azeri literature is denying this, and I am a little bit confused.

As I hear from her, she says;

" i deny to keep any conversation with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yes, world is watching us. And, I hope to boost the visitor numbers to this blog. Maybe, we can all get together and walk to this Zair's house, and demonstrate how much I desire her.

Yes, world, listen to me. The best thing you can do would be to write on this blog. Maybe, she will hear you, since she denies to hear from me.

I will follow my heart, as I did since the beginning. We shall see if she deserves this heart, or not.
Nothing more I can do.

Cut Flowers Trashed Flowers

Have you ever had that feeling? Buying the flowers for your girl friend. Next day, all flowers are in the trash can. Yes, that is pretty much heart breaking. Still, I desire this girl. And yes, I don't smoke, but my mind should be quite fuzzy to continue to chase this beauty.

Small Statistics Figure from Today's Game

Yes, in fact it is a game. I hope. Really.
23 emails from Zair
40 emails from Cafe

NO COMMENT...God knows how much I waited for her. Though, even I would send 4,000,000 emails, what would happen? Nada? Mucho?
Basically, mi amor, but then...
Well, world continues to rotate around, the stars are watching us, something gotta happen...

Zair Letter 2004

Yes, indeed she emailed me finally. We talked for a few hours. When I say talk, don't think phone, or chat. Email. Only email. That's the best I can get. Here is her requested poem to be published here. What is next? I dunno! But, I still believe, as the Mariah Carey's song says. I still believe....

Zair's Letter 2004 Version (I wish to see the 2008 version, really soon)

Please tell me what the **** is going on?
And where takes me the path that i go on?

why cant i see no light on my life path,
And why there is no one walking with me on my path

And when where is someone who is walking by my side
Why disappears he after little while?

To where is taking me this long and full of darkness road
and why cant walk i bravely by my own?

why do i fall down after all the lucky steps i made
and why cant stand i straightly on my way?

Why cant i stand up strongly , bravely on my feet?
What have i done that life just bits me : bit after very bit?

Who will just show me light on my life-path?
Who will just save me from all the storm?
And lightening? and winds and rains?
That come i frequently accross my every day?

What is my life?
Where does the meaning of life hides?

Why is today not like my yestarday?
Whya aint i happy just as yestarday?

where are the peole that i saw the day before?
why do i stand now here so alone?

who knows the answers to my questions now i ask?
If even i cant find the answers till up now"

Bubble Burst

Yes, finally the bubble burst, and it was full of chemicals, petroleum from Caspian Sea reserves. I was not expecting caviar, but also not assuming that it will be crude oil. It is not cruel, though. I heard people wash themselves with petrol in Baku. That's healthy, and I am not going to explain the details here, I am already blown out into pieces with the particulates included in the petrol. She didn't use any lighter, thanks. Otherwise, I would not be here saying hello to the world.

For all these years, I desired someone, and the desires become a sort of cruelty. I will write more since I will have all these days until I meet the family very soon. Nothing shall stay here. I waited for a long time, why do I need to hide my feelings from the world. I would appreciate if any one of you visitors, strangers could support me on my journey to save her heart. She is the Zair, which can be translated into Poison in English. I keep asking myself what is the loyalty between Zair and Ashk (Amor). When did this happen, ok, I know when. But, why this keeps happening? There should be a way to win this game, indeed if this is a game. If Zair is fooling Cafe, then Cafe Alaturca will become Cafe Zair :(