Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jump start

"It is a new day"
"Yes, it is, and it is just a new beginning"
"Well, I never gave up!"
"You almost did, don't fool me" she says
As I stir the sugar in the tea, I remember I was supposed to put some jam into it, or
"May I have the jam aside? Don't you know, I don' t drink use sugar."
"That's why you never called me again since last September"
"When will you pause for a moment and think don't I give enough difficult moments to this young boy"
"Young?" she sighs.
"And, mature!" I say slowly.
"Everybody gets mature, and then they forget to take care of their skin, they age, and then begin to realize they need somebody to love."
"Well, I reserved this ticket six years ago, please don't sell it in the black market, I know this is pretty expensive now. See, I can learn how to invest my energy and time. Can I get a deposit slip?"
"I am not ready to get married!"
"I almost did, ohh sorry, that was on another planet with another girl called Zair." I say, and she walks away to the balcony.

I was a chilly May, and I was expecting shower, as I begin to wonder, there was the thunderstorm, and here we are, watching the rain together, and thinking how we will slowly build our dam to collect good times, and install a recycling facility to reduce the waste of bad moments. I spent almost a year and half in searching for this system which will circulate my time and energy investment into sound financial sum to let us reproduce our fruitful relationship every other day. I never had this moment in Baku, watching the rain from our cozy, small apartment. I know, time passes so quickly and I need to rush back to work in Istanbul and maybe, we see each other a few weeks later. I wish one thing from Allah to make her slowly understand why I never gave up on her, and why I am so stubborn to rise from the west hemisphere. It is always nice to see the sun giving birth to a new day counter clockwise, and it is fun to watch her go to sleep first, and then I pray she will see how I continue to sacrifice my longing and passion just a few ... more. I know it cannot be a year, but it will be a few months.

There is no single day, I lived without knowing hearing from Azerbaijan. If we just pronounce the -jan part, and mimic it as -jam, I feel like I am a part of it. As the notorious president Haydar Aliyev said, we are one nation, two counties. From the beginning, I felt the same as we are one body, two minds. Indeed, we have many conflicts and it was always fun to make the shortest sentences with short-run arguments to result them with satisfactory conclusions. As long as everybody is clear about their stepping stone, we will not hurt each other, indeed we will just hug each other in the sky.

"Mom is calling" she says, and here we are listening to her beautiful voice, sometimes high, sometimes low. They are both admiring. Farewell to my old habit of missing to record our beautiful moments, and just staring at the camera and say, "Hello, I am Cafe and today's guest is Ms. Zair." She was never a-today's-guest type of girl. She was an all-time star, always making me wait to watch her on a clear sky. Thanks to Allah, she was shining during the day, and for some reason, the Sun was not bothering her own illumination.

"Ladies and gentleman, if I open this box, and just show why I do this, would you just give me hand to convince this beautiful lady who is now wondering what the heck I need to say to him" I shout to the storks moving to the East. They make their famous sound and simply agreed with me to open the box, and then just like digging a well full of fuel, this box begins to grow a fruitful tree reaching up high in the sky. I climb it, thinking that I will see all the way East, and surpass all mountains between us. Storks are a little nervous, since I never been up so high.

"I do, I do"
"Who is this?" I shout to the East.
"I do, I ."
"Who are you?" I shout back again, because I am barely hearing her, whoever she is.
"Continue, I am still way thing." she says, but I really don't understand anything, what is "way thing"?
I move forward and more rapidly, so then I arrive to the top of the tree. I met a beautiful lady, considering her to be an angel, supposedly, but not really sure, and indeed, not really care, because I am all obsessed to catch my reservation and not be late at least this time.

"Welcome aboard!" she says.
"Can we just finish this, hello, really, I am running late." I mistakenly increase my volume with the high volume of excitement I have.
"It is 8.43pm, and we are closing in 2 minutes, why were you so late, you know about your scheduled flight."
"I am sorry, but yes, I just dreamed, and imagined, what can I do, this is my fuel for life, how do you think I climbed so high and always thought that at least you would allow me to see her eyes, or just her new design of hair." I say with an almost upset situation.
"Tell me what I can I do for you, other than giving your ticket."
"Just tell me, why you care about my passion. Nobody did. People think it is crazy, and it is 21st century, and don't forget, we need to consume everything so rapidly. We eat, we sleep, we love, we hate, etc. etc. Things happen so fast. Let me tell you this. I always wanted this, and I always think positive. I just never had a chance to give up, because words were just flushing out of my mouth. Whenever I look around, I see things offering me to use them as my figurative speech which will let everyone to imagine and put this relation into real words, real life. Unlike sitting down and thinking and asking repeatedly why, why, why.. I preferred to polished the good times, and trash away the bad times, and I never forgot my bad habits which are now recycled into small cans, so I can see them on the shelf, and they remind me that they are full of shit, and I never should be so close to them again. Never, ever. It is getting late, really, we are aging, could you please just give my ticket and let me know how long is the delivery of my body to her city of angels?"
"Well, it is upto you, it could be tomorrow, or it could be a few weeks later. But, remember, don't make this long, because you are about to get crazy like Hallac-i Mansur of Baghdad." she reminds me.
"OK, I leave everything here, so if they send me a message on facebook, please reply back and tell them I am almost finished with clearing my heart from dust." I said, and the order arrives.
"Hello Mr. Cafe, you Persian cookie, 1.50 TL please."
"Thanks, always on time."
"Your are welcome, good night."
"Good night, see you later."