Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Long range missile test

I wish she is in the space center and tracking down all actions going on air. Latest news, show that N. Korea had a defiant launch of rocket. I already had a defiant launch of passion to talk to her, but there has been no luck. I just could not enter her orbit, although we supposedly belong to the same planet. It is not like Planet Hollywood and Planet Bollywood. I could wait outside and let her sip her last drink, and I will act like the valet parking guys, at least would not hesitate to shimmer/sweat.
She just doesn't want to drive, so I walk her to the next stop, let's call it the traffic light, but hurry up, because there is a pond of water, and any car could easily splash some of it on her beautiful outfit. It is casual, and life is relax, cool, homogeneous. But, I am just no genius enough to realize why I am walking with her, without asking if it is OK.
Last time, I text messaged for a while, even though I was on traffic, and nobody would understand the immediate reaction I have been experiencing after a very short, mostly me-about, talk over the famous phone. It was definitely not a clash of her Nokia with my Samsung. Indeed, we are using the same service provider, but fo' so' reason, I happen to receive no reply, no caution, no word.
The streets are singing "word up", and I still hesitate to conclude this long dilemma, because I am questioning the all-time low points received in this contest. I am not Miss Turkey, but I really would like her to be me the one I miss in Turkey. Face a face talk is always different and more mysterios than texting which is like paving the road with aspalth. Not a healthy choice, but as an appatizer, it is a supporting evidence for the stomach to become fuller and fooler.
The message never received, and I wonder if this week will enlighten some of the past with the clash of futuristic thoughts, so that my long-awaited, coming-soon-type of reply will be spicing up my upcoming minutes.
Whoever is writing the minutes in this relationship, let me tell you something.
It wasn't me, it wasn't me.
I just wanted to talk, and the origin of the content is far from being romantic, nor sarcastic.
It is just too ironic to speak to her, because it always seemed like I was ironing her bias about me. Each time, I'd stay the same, over and over.

Hello kitty, or puppy, or my sweet monkey!

Listen to me for one sec
But, just don't press the button for rec
If I have PC, you will change yours to Mac
Should I have any questions, I will just tic tac

The opposites pull each other
Whether we belong to the same weather channel
Let's keep the mutual benefit for me and her
Otherwise, I shall be the one staring at the gate of Suez Canal
Watching the ships pass by, and wait for her to come with the next cargo
She is compact, and accessible
I maybe just too irritating, so let me really watch the gate, to sweeten my way of capability to take some responsibility..open the gate, close the gate, open the gate, close the gate..
I just cannot figure out the timing of my gate..speak up my passion when it is time to shorten the words to conclude with a meet-up, but the words just keep flowing and simply postponing the closure of the gate to give access for a real face a face...

Feel like an aquarium without any fish

Yes, if no fish, no chips. Well, we are not in Vegas, playing poker, and I am not Lady Gaga singing the poker face, indeed I am doing some spring cleaning. It is a kingdom of boredom to see the aquarium without any fish. Even one? There was one, long-live fish, gone now. It's been almost 3 years, a supposedly long time to hang out. Now, I see only the green plant, a proof of Oxygen, a proof of life still circulating inside. If there is life, why not enrich it with a couple, chasing each other.
I am a mess without her, and she just doesn't understand, but I am not sure who is she. I very much feel like Paulo Coelho's situation in the middle of the book of Zahir. It is a must to get to know each other, but before, get to know yourself, what I really want, and how I will be able to accomplish it. Singing too much, and letting the other side simply listen to it does not really help. It is not like carrying the grocery bags all the way down from 52nd street to intersection of 2nd Avenue and 5th street. The days are over with traditional love fool loose systematics. There is a different strategy, and the best obsession release point would be design a special gift, unlike anything being sold on market. Found out about a cheap toy, but I should be the one to ornament it to look meaningful. For the dimensions, it deserves the cheap price tag, but for the capabilities of it, receives 5 star from me. Didn't try it yet, but unsure about the coincidences to be faced after the gift. I wish there is a mirror, and a person of wisdom behind it. Whenever I speak to myself, there would be keywords appearing on the window, like a virtual board. Then, I would click on it by hand, and it will take me through further stream of thoughts to conclude with a beautiful end. Of course, the end would be a new beginning to row the boat towards her, but if the current is upward, and I am trying to reach to her waiting on the opposite site, what else is being offered. What are my options? It is not like playing poker now. Neither, it is stock market. I feel like wall street, but it is Sunday, so there is dead silence. No food cart, no coffee scent, no sneakers decorating the feet of business suits. There is no rush today, but tomorrow, and the day after. I am ashamed of the unstoppable amount of speech I had a few days ago through a series of SMS (text messages), and the worst case scenario happened without any single reply. Not a single one. Nada. Zero. Over. Or what? It is like carrying the baggages of a beautiful lady from the taxi cab to her room on 25th floor, and receive zero tip, not even a kiss. Only a sole frozen face with a simple "bye"
I am thinking about taking the emergency exit, and climb the stair this time, all the way up 25th floor, and in the meantime I will think about what I would tell to this beautiful lady on a Monday morning breakfast serve. It is not open buffet this time, and I am feeling difficult to keep the costs minimum. It is quite ironic to be full of choices, but offering only bread and cream cheese. The tea is not unlimited, and it is a tea bag with a glass of hot water.
I wish there is a bird carrying some messages, because I am not keeping up with the technology of text messages, as I receive zero reply out of the last series of maybe 5, or 10. I don't remember, but if I would be her, I would click and press the delete button immediately after reading it, because the complete 5th season was a drama, and should be awarded by Emmy.
Gotta press the enter button a few more times, so the whole story will fly me to the moon, and let me be among the stars. If Frank Sinatra hears me, please prepare some shooting stars for tonight, as I really want to speak open and check with her what's up. I promised to myself, not to fall in love this time, but it is like walking on the broken glass with bare feet and the exit door is only on this direction. Well, I don't want to be the single green plant in the aquarium. There is no guarantee that my oxygen will survive forever without feeling the warmth of the fish.
Forget the chips, and just order the drinks. I will talk now. It has been a long time, and I have absolutely no idea about her, but why am I deconstructing the bridges that she was trying to build together. What is the rush?
Well there is a rush, because papa is almost at the age of a grandpapa and he deserves some grandchildren to play with, and in the meantime, I shall be moving forward to put some brick and stone as soon as possible, because there is just too much good things to do, with a single of hope, the other side will not discriminate it. For example, if you plant a tree, the nature will never discriminate your kind behavior, but when you help a person for his study, after graduation, that person may become a very ignorant one. So, the hope is always planting to good seeds to have a fruitful life with fruitful business with fruitful love.
The four letter word hardly comes out of my mouth nowadays, because I preserve it way below my heart, maybe below my feet, inside my socks. It is such a passionate feeling that if initially released, it is very dangerous and scary for the other side to witness and experience the reality - a simple combination of 4 letters, love.
I don't love you, and I will maybe love you later, but I cannot guarantee. It is a world class, 7-star hotel fact that the love will be generated as a result of good times and good transition of thoughts between each other. Otherwise, please don't assume freebies from me. There is none left, as Zahir killed almost all of them. Well, I destroyed most of it, personally, as I acted like petrol under the ground, when she tried to dig it, I never stopped to release the long-preserved petrol. Days, months, years...and now, it is gone. I was assuming the futuristic come back of her, but as I am in the middle of the book, I simply want to figure out what I really want. It is a need, and it is a must at the same time. When two people like each other, the whole world become happy. There is nothing like experiencing the sexiness of mind besides the body. The quality of talk is highly preferred to the quality of the body because the attraction of bodies are now highly commercialized with many irritating products on the market. The idea of perfume was started by a French person using it in the toilette, that's why it is called, Eau de Toilette. Then, it became so attractive, to be used for daywear, and also night. But, when the idea of one special scent that is the closed scent to the body odor, the market was burst out with many kinds. It is a disgusting feeling to try to attract the other side with such products. Where is the mind match? I will come back to my argument which is the transfer of thoughts via frequencies emitted from each mind, and those frequencies had tags that are matched with anyone "available" anywhere around yourself. I may send a satellite to the outer space and design such system and hold the monopoly initially, then sell/rent the shares one by one. I would love to imagine this system with the expert of space, and so called- Light, but as I said, the messages were never replied, thinking that I overflowed. Now, there is silence, like the green plant in the aquarium, and I am obsessed with the feeling of finding, seeking, and waiting at the same time. I am not lovin' it, because I am not McDonald's, but I am simplified, more than ever, after this short circuit of feelings.