Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Just Be

Gotta do some targeted mass marketing and lots of research, feeling like I am just messing with the internet, but just an innocent look at the heater in front me reminds you back on, as the whole days passes with moments of you.

Just be the heater heating the whole room, I promise I won't be jealous or selfish, let you be, just be around, I can just look, just look at you.

Just be the light illuminating the whole room, I won't turn it on and off, play with it, nope, nothing, just let you be, and I will just take a look at you, well sometimes, I won't let my eyes die, or go blind, since I need to refresh my memory that I used to .... just be next to you.

Just sit around the dinner table, don't need to enjoy the dinner, just be the salt, or pepper on the table, I won't use you, I will just stare at you all night long, and promise you once again I will not overuse the rare moments that needs to be appreciated from the beginning to the end, just like the arrival of a plane on JFK airport, and departing immediately, staying away from the local taxes, charges, etc.

Just be ... mine, I mean, stay in my mind, or well, be like a mint, refresh my breath and the whole world.

Just be a letter on my laptop's keyboard, but not space, or enter button, I press them a lot, maybe the Escape button, whenever I watch the T9 video, and remember our time together, I can slowly press the Esc button, and leave the video, because there is no need to send my signals back on you, as you are already (maybe) enjoying the best times in your life, in your country, around your family. I know, I feel the same, just that we are so apart, but we have the same norms and traditions. Just be, yes, stay there, and also let me be, I mean, hear, or know about what's up, so I will make you the F5 button on my keyboard, which is to refresh the page. I promise, I will have high speed internet, so I will not need to use F5 a lot, the page will load instantly, and I will not need to refresh it.

Just be the orange, and I will promise you to keep you alone, as I continue to squeeze four to make my midnight vitamin charge. Stay alone, or of course, maybe you already have somebody inside the orange peel, so, yes, I won't peel you off, live your life, and yes, I won't cut you, and squeeze you, I know, there won't be any poison, but well, I won't disturb you, as I promised.

Just be the music in my ears, and I promise I will not play the same melody over and over again. As fruitful as the people of Turkey, there are lots of types of people, animals, plants, etc. There is a good combination of both, while some parts are unfortunately eroding and missing the gems of life. May they find their path back on without harming others, and yes, continue to sing with your beautiful voice, and don't put a sorry face, because I use the blender, and I am responsible for the plate, and I am sorry to leave a sour feeling on your palate. But, speaking of music, your ears, yes, and mine, well you may put earphones on yours, because this time I want to be selfish, I just want to hear you, and I don't want you to hear what you say, and then maybe I will hear that phrase I longed for so long! An innocent I .... too, you fill the blanks, if you have a chance to read this.

Time is passing, and maybe I will not enjoy this movie each minute. It is true that it is getting late, and I already deserved my Persian "pogaca", why not share it?

Dear you,

Just be around, yes, just let me hear, or see what's up? Because, I cannot think and believe that you changed, this is absolutely ridiculous to realize that we changed. Of course, people mature and realize about the realities of life, such as being around the loved ones, forever, or stay in our beloved lands, etc. But, on the other side, there is this feeling of sharing a life for the pleasure of whole world. For one second, if you imagine everyone was happy with one another, do you think we would have ultimate justice and peace. I am simply inviting you to contribute to this ideology, maybe, just like picking up the starfish on the beach, and throwing them back to the sea.
I invite you to use your beautiful figurative speech all the time, and remind me that we are all humans and we are capable of appreciating this life more than any other creature. Just be the one that I rarely, usually, sometimes, often, always and foremost frequently see and talk in this life, and just guess how much we can save by adding less salt to our dish. Yes, dear (used to be darling), end of each post is labeling another sticker on my face, and soon, I will be unable to see you, if I happen to be decorated with those happy face stickers. And, yes, those will be fake, to tell the world that I am without you.

I am....



Sending and Receiving?

We have been sending small pieces of stones into the deep well. We don't date the posts to avoid any expectations about considering this as daily news, weekly updates, monthly magazine, or a yearbook. None of them. It is totally freestyle, but the words are coming back from this deep well. I send some stones, and receive back some memories which both hurt me and so I put them up online thinking about her finally giving up and realizing how much I...

Welcome back to the stories of Cafe, and sit back relax, because spring is coming and today is April 14, 2009. It has been almost 3 days since sending a massage (yes, not a message) to her. It is not like a typical AIM, or ATM, or deposit to the bank. It was a compact pieces of phrases put together carefully, as always, not being very talkative, simply decorating with fruits and veggies, all healthy choices. I accept that I cannot stop eating this special cookie, which I tasted first, in the beautiful city of Baku. We read news and maybe don't hear enough about the history of Karabagh. Most recently, there was an article on Turkish newspaper, Hurriyet, about those people (refugees) misplaced from their original land, Karabagh, due to the conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan. As much as she is affected by this political situation, as a sister country, I am also concerned and curious when should we accept some logical movements like clarifying this situation and letting people go back to their homes. As we all know, home is an important concept. On one side, people spend millions to decorate their homes, and on the other side, there are homeless people on the streets, even in NYC. The dilemma begins here, when one side is enjoying the luxury while the other side keeps fighting with the poverty. We are slowly drifting away from the world crisis between Cafe and Zair, I know. But, I will be coming back, wait, let me sip a little from my coffee, and just try to realize this could be a possible ....

a chance?

As I continue to read the book of Coelho (called, Zair), last night, I read the part about leaving your old relationships, and just sail to new experiences. At one part, Esther was telling to the Kazak boy that her husband doesn't understand her anymore. They were talking about the power of love, and also those people limiting themselves for the happiness of their loved ones.
To be honest, I am also learning from this book. I am aware of the eternal love I bare towards her, and I am not limiting myself for her happiness. Each body deserves an umbrella in the rain, and another umbrella under the sun on the beach. So, the climates may change, but the protection is necessary all the time. I was just willing to commit and to convince her family to protect their loved daughter from any harm until the end of her life. So, what about new experiences? Are we supposed to cheat on each other?

Since now I am being ashamed anytime I miss to pronounce her name during the day, how am I supposed to cheat on her, or treat her badly? Allah offered me a chance to weight how much I can handle to leave with her, and believe me, at some points it was very impossible. I strongly believe she had the same moments, and maybe more than I do, because I had so many handicaps, and I failed most of the time. Those failures added up, and at the end, she had a wonderful reason to go away. Now, I think like Mecnun in the desert, looking for her, walking, walking, and keep walking. Don't expect me to run, because I may get thirsty. Yes, I can reproduce my own water out of the oxygen in the air, but I need to balance my stress vs. strength. I do get stressed when I put things in rush. Hello, darling, just continue to enjoy your relationship, and I really don't wish that ship to sink. Let it sail, further away, and of course, I will one day forget about these, but now, I am sunk deep down in the well, and I feel like I am throwing those stones to myself. Ooops, my eyes. Oh, wait, don't touch my cheeks, they are reserved for a kiss. Hello, anybody there? No need to put commas, or dots. It is just a matter of time, and Allah is great to show us guidance and patience to understand where we end up to sip a little bit more coffee, and then begin to think if we are ready to take care of the coffee plantation.

The Persian "pogaca" (cookie, see the picture) awaits me to confirm his entry to my hidden treasure which has no appetite these days. I think about opening her a restaurant in Turkey, when she comes over. We all need the wonderful tastes from her country. And, it will be a boutique restaurant/cafe style, inside a clothing store. I imagine, and I will continue to imagine just like my American teacher in middle school told the whole class.


In those days, we were making fun of his accent, and don't understand what the heck we need to imagine sitting in the class of 40 and expect a bright future by entering an exam to enter university, when the chance is only about %20-30, I guess. I wish there is someone out there ready to measure my chance to win her back, because I am getting irresistable to receive a reply from her. Shall I just take a flight and go to her, and just wait in the historical spot and expect her to walk across me, and with my sunglasses on, I shall randomly ask her in English, what date is today, and ask her if she received an important message on April 10th, or well was it 9th, ooops, let's say the first week of April, and make the date part less stressful. Thanks to Allah, it is not like a prison, and I am not counting down the days to get out.

Now, I think about celebrating her birthday in all colleges around the USA, and raising awareness to genuine relationships, and loving someone without a reason, simply following the steps of your heartbeat, and measure their strength for how much they can handle each of you until the end of your lives. What would be a good name for this?

Loca? Muy loco?

Yes, it is very crazy!

Watching the rain is romantic, and witnessing each raindrop hitting the windshield of the car is also exciting. In the morning, when you wake up and see the sunshine, you get even happier, but see the marks of the raindrop on your car makes your day awful. Like, making fresh coffee, enjoying the first couple of sips, then forget about it, and after half an hour, you realize and drink it, and wow! It is very awful to drink it cold.

Dear You,

I never forget you.... so far!
I always kept you warm in my mind, and tried to press the delete button in my heart.
I don't have virus protection, but for some reason, that file cannot be deleted.... for now!
Please confirm your status and then I will call the engineers to fix it, or else...

I will continue to enjoy your cuisine, don't worry.
And, I will look for a chance to visit your beautiful city, all the time.
But, I am just unable to sacrifice everything, and we shall not be sturborn all the time.
We are not goats trying to cross to the opposite sides.
We could be goats trying to cross to the other side, TOGETHER!

We have been together for so long, we planted a lot of seeds.
Those seeds need to grow, and feed the family, so, please don't hang up.
Last nite motto was nice.
Yes, we've been together, and it is time to get her!

Don't take me ironic, sarcastic, or maniac.
It is just about expecting a genuine reply.
As I believe only genuine answer will be reflected from your eyes,
I will seek for the moment to get away and do the final round of speech with you in your beautiful city.

P.S: If you reply, and curse, of course this pretty, romantic, pink picture will be crashed, smashed, and recycled to new scenario for the future filmmakers who will shoot our movie.