Expect the unexpected, follow the lovers lost in this blog.

A blog to cater your mind,body,and soul as you drink Turkish Coffee. We are proud to present our new storyline called Cafe's search for his "Zahir". Everyday is a new day for the "Cafe" (from Istanbul) & his journey for "Zahir" (from Baku). Don't expect extraordinary drama from the narrator, me. Still, this is a drama (maybe real!), and have better impact on you than watching a soap opera. Guaranteed. There is genuine feelings within inspirational periods. Cross your fingers for this story to end with happy marriage :-) All rights are reserved.

EDIT (01 July 2009) - She is engaged with another man, and I finally made my marriage proposal bringing my family to Baku. The result: She stays engaged and will have her wedding, so called "toy", with that another man.

Rest in peace Ms. Zahir.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

L-O-V-E (Nat King Cole)

L-O-V-E (Nat King Cole)

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you can adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you can adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you


I approach to the limit they set in the sea. The beach was very good. There was about 400 meters swimming area forward. If you go from the left corner to the right, it was about 1 km. So, yes, very large, secure from sea boats. I liked it. I swam 5 times, 2x400 meters. Every stroke, I remember you. My love, I really feel you 1,000 times during the day. As I swim, I had about 1,000 strokes. Each one announced your name as my arms meet the water and splash the water. Honey, don't leave me, and don't think that I forgot about you. The time will come, I suppose that. I don't pose, or fake. As I mislead you in the beginning as if I don't love you, understand my situation now. I am tired, it was a short but long training for swimming. I don't feel my arms. I don't feel my heart, either. Honey, heat the water, I am bringing some tea. Honey, cook the rice, I am bringing some chickpeas. Honey, set your watch, I am coming in a few days. Patience is the virtue. Show it to me.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I feel like an automatic transmission car ready to move, but you keep pressing the stop pedal, or you just keep the transmission on P (park).
I am patient even there is the slowing car on earth driving in front of me on one lane highway, and I am driving a Ferrari. You feel me.
I am maintaining my balance, the car is driving smooth, no need for gas, or lpg, or cng. I am coming, coming to you

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


If they propose me all inclusive marriage with a beautiful women
I would kindly deny that
Beauty can be universal
Your beauty as well
I cannot share that, sorry

I already applied for scholarship in your university
Please don't say to me
"We regret to inform you"

Throw me a like a penny
But, remember collecting me in a jar
Yes, ok, throw me into the jar

I am wearing my helmet
I am not ice
not easy to be melt

Too humid tonight
Can't think about you
Sorry I got my phone charging
was unable to receive international calls

My card is over the limit
my visa is already invalid
If you close the lid
The tea will be ready
More quicker than that

If you choose your eyes
I mean close your eyes
I already chosen your eyes
Your dates-looking eyes

I will be there in a minute
Eleven twenty last nite
Finally grabbed a pen and a white blank paper
See how it turns out to be nite
I opened a new page in your book
I call it Le
You call it La
Don't ask me Y
Just drop the Y in between us.
Let's come together...


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Climate Change

Today is hot, no matter what, I will continue to think about you.So difficult to have my arms crossed, nothing inside.Whenever I hear about your land,I am lost.As if I am a character in the movie, LOST.There is a strange sound coming from my keyboard, God forbids any key to be misused, or got broken.You are not a broken link in my website.All routes merge on Route 66.We play jazz,blues,samba,and eat gelato,humus,zucchini. What if I take you on a tour,museum tour.My sad moments, photographed.Would you be amazed at what I look like without you.Like a flower,turning its face to the sun. I am turning my whole body to you.I have respect for your decision.I am kindly waiting to hear from you.Whenever you think is the right time.Do you hear me?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Short Poem

You know
I wanted to love you
You were also same
I loved you
You loved me more
I try to understand your passion
You couldn't understand my resistance all 4 years without you
You thought I forgot you
I came back to tell you la vie no possible sans toi

Mi amor
Come, tome, bebe mi amor

You hide behind your land
I was shocked to choose between my land and your land

I can struggle to leave away from my land
I don't want to strive anymore
To leave without you

Sun rises in your land first
I am jealous,
come here, we watch the sunrise together,
I come there, we do the same

Please read and hear my voice
Promise, For-give but don't For-get

Forget me Don't me Forget me Or Get me Forgive me Or Give me Your Hand Would You Be Mary or Sally Or Marry Me

Yes, Saturday 4.39pm in the office, nobody gives me direction to work. As, nobody insists me to marry you. Now we are separate, seems very far away you to see me to see you. Very well, thanks, and you. Smell you feeds my inner struggle. No need to look summer fashion on the street, your smell is on my skin, as I nose my external layer, I feel you. Cannot imagine how I would hold your hand. Yes, I am a lover, I am in love. Don't kiss me, just look at me, don't stare at me, look at me and talk with your eyes, put some smell on me, I miss you. Yes, it is true. Don't be shy, you miss me too. One plus one is two. That is big lie, once you start with one, stay one, become one, live one. You and me, is like your name, Le me y La you. Leave me or Love me. I don't say, I never said that. From the first moment, through the firsts we discussed, I understand you. You if flower to me, me if bee for you. Be my honey, no mosquito suck my blood. I am naive, give your hand. This winter is snowing, would you marry me. This winter is coming, are you with me. This winter is calling, are you home honey. This coziness, blurring my eyes. Come and help me, let's sail somewhere together. No waves, but a sun dawn would be romantic, right. Right, left, I am running. Please wait, and please don't forget.

P.S: I checked from Google Analytics that you so far never visited this wall. I am painting on this wall for you. Come and see, and don't forget. Never, ever. I wonder if you read all these, would you call me. Since I am not allowed to bother you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fry Day Buzz

Honey, I don't put sugar in my tea. Hey, hello, could you hear me. Jam, strawberry jam. Yes, that would be nice. No, I meant the jam, not real berries, ohh no..But my tea..I can't wake up without my Turkish Tea 'n da morning. Well, especially as I am mourning, soaring, roaring,.. But I am rowing my boat towards you. If I go to your school, what grade would you please me. My keyboard is sick of me, putting all this garbage here with fingers typings, rolling, and boring.
It is getting boring sweet 'n spicy friend. If I go to spice bazaar, which spice you would be. If you go to the grocery, which cashier number you would find me. As long as you can find me, I don't worry. I heard you are on vacation for 2 weeks. Why where...See, yesterday's sweet Y, today's spicy Y. Bye.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wednesday, When is that day? Thursday, so thirsty for you..

Yesterday I couldn't make it, sorry. Today, seems like the end of the week. And, each day my energy is leaving to a synergy of sadness and sorrow. Also put some pain. No, painkillers, I don't like them. I shall not fool myself to sleep and think as if nothing happened. Pain that does not bear the moment of loss without you. While writing these letters, words, or creating my own crossworld puzzle, I am with you somewhere over the rainbow, somewhere around the world. Sensing the environment around me as an illusion of your control. I am missing you, but using you. Sorry, yes, I am using your name to inspire a male female relationship. Indeed it is a ship hosting Le y La. C'est Le per male, and La per female. Y is the bridge, not a questioning Y. Also, Y is like a branch, giving one hand to male, one hand to female, making them become one. I have my way, this way shall end in the beginning of a new beginning. I don't like to see The End, I don't like to see the and. Don't stop it, or cross it. Stay there. Stay calm, wait a few seconds, I am installing a new program to my software. I am getting used to you, I am getting used to live with you. Not without you, cannot without you. Please, don't stop the music, it is getting late, and I need to get back on my seeking for your Y. If I catch Y, then I will be "le", and you will be "la", ok. Promise. You know it. Don't forget it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Skip the monday, embrace tuesday

That's what I did actually.Couldn't write to you on Monday.Honey,I was busy and I couldn't call you,I call you back later ok.I don't think I will ever say these words.I prefer to be honest.Making a girl more curious is something we would never want.One question may lead to a series of questions, questions, and so on.Please,life is not about interrogation. It is about sharing. It is not as simple as the sharing folder on msn messenger.Or,it is not as basic as saying how r u? Life is about being punctual and give the meaning of every single word when you are talking to her. How are you sweetheart? World Sugar Index is sky high, it is very expensive to add sugar to my Turkish coffee, so...,can I kiss you? Something like that.There is just a little bit of extra between large and extra-large.Live the L alone, put some X aside, then move on.This little investment will give you very profitable return. What is my return of investment on chasing this girl for 4 years.It is just an inner struggle. A kind of game, a foolish one. The power of thoughts, deep thoughts. On the scheme of my past, her appearance add lots of livability to my life. Yes, there is a word livability from now on.Attaching to someone can lead to a creation of series words. It is too hot now,little breeze in the morning is a bless, make me thank Allah to have some pity on us. We have so many guilts. Don't want to be guilty,and I am aware of my guilts and hoping not to even come close to those kind of actions. Come close to me low. I don't call you my love, but my low. Yes, it is a very low chance of snow this summer. Snow particles nourish your skin,while sliding off to my aura. Low chance of humidity in the cold winter. Living with these opposites, challenging with happenings..I am not scared of height. But it is too low to breath around here. Have some oxygen, put some hydrogen, let is snow, let it snow, let it snow. Imagine, raining in the street, watch it coming down under the street lights. As rain comes down from sky, I will come my low. I have enough air to breath with you.As long as you keep your patience and belief in our lows.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sunday 17

Last year,due to earthquake many lives were lost in the early morning of this date. May Allah avoid such disasters, and I hope human mind will be able to track the earthquakes more precisely.

A quake in my heart is getting bigger and bigger.First let me share the disclaimer that this story may or may not be true. The only aim behind sharing this story (used to in poem format,now revitalized, and became a story), is to award it for a movie scenario.

Yesterday,calling her mama to say mubarek kandil (one of the religious date in Muslim calendar) was a bless for me. As I was about to hang up the phone since there is not much to talk between us, I happen to say I did not give up (to chase their girl). She then wondered again how. Since I was competing with her mama to have her daughter.She wants to keep her only child within the borders of her city. I want to bring her to my country. There is only 2-hours flight distance between the point of interest. It is such a dilemma for me. I am literally bargaining to bring her daughter to my country when I get married. It is not a matter of their allowance for their child to marry me. It is a matter of environment.
I was told that when two people love each other, the world doesn't matter for them. There is also separations with love. I would not call it separation. I would call it deviance for now. I was studying calculus very passionately, and I always desire to apply maths to regular routine of life. What I like most about math was that it was applicable to music theory as well. I would not feed my passion as much as I was supposed to and desired to do. I want to combine the theory in chemistry as well. Person lives with the surrounding to compose the system. Today's system is not in good health. The economy, politics, environmental disasters, so much happening. To be honest, it is not like pre-historic times either. Life is getting more complex as we add more desired to the shopping basket. For me, I left my wallet at home, and only went to the mall to see her. For her, it is the same. But, when it is the same for her family as well, then there is a clash between points of interest. One girl, one mama, and one boy. Also, don't forget the boy's mama, but there is big difference between mamas now. Boy's mama also cares about her son, though on the other side, girl's mama doesn't want to give up anything. And now, there is no gap for negotiation since girl's papa was upset to mama's emotional breakdown due to boy's negotiations. The gap is closed. Boy is lost. The name of the girl has to be forgotten, but the love composing their relationship for 5 years has to be alive. The boy is at this stage the story teller..

I cannot call you sweetheart..
I cannot call you my melon
You cannot call me bittersweet
You cannot call me pepper

We are not living at two opposite sides of the world
We are just unlucky to meet each other.
We love each other so much
Why do we need to stay apart
This was actually a lyrics of a song
But this song is us, the lyrics shouldn't matter thus

What I am thinking is to forget your name, and preserve your love in the freezer. I will treat you as ice. Whenever I hit myself, I took the ice, put on my skin, then immediately put you back in the freezer. I cannot handle the pain, as long as there is a reliever. I always sacrificed my heart to fight for you. Now I am lost, how you are capable of changing your family's decision. It is too tough to continue on my own, just have my goals in my mind to marry you. Like an ottoman soldier, fighting on the front. Keeping my beliefs, my desires..Just unsure if you will be forced to marry another men in the near future. If there is train coming to your city, I would definitely take it every weekend to see if you are still healthy. If I were a girl, I would not survive in this case. Don't say that I am a man, I can handle this. I don't believe me, I don't. There is no appetite, no aim to check what's right, what's wrong. I am losing my mind. There is humidity in the air, and the wind direction is blowing to your direction. Now, I will begin to lose some weight. So, the wind could take me to you.

Like we watched the movie Nemo, the birds were shouting me, me, me when they see a fish on the deck. During the day, many flourishing thoughts are arising in my mind. But, I am not sitting in front of the computer all the time. Please don't expect me to do that. I shall practice more to see if I can run to you. I told you, there is no train coming to you. The plane take too short time to deserve coming at you. The bus is not safe, I don't like long drives with the bus. Plus, there is not much leg-space in the seats.

Please bare with me. I hope you will remember my blog's name, and read these messages. I want to kindly ask you to wait a few months. I will make a final decision until your birthday. The poll will close in the blog. And, the 200 something days seems to far, but in fact, it is not far. No, it is too soon, and I shall be quick. I will be quick honey, just on my way. Is the dinner ready, how are the kids? Would you marry me, where would you like to go for honeymoon. If I take you to the moon, can I sing the song by Frank Sinatre, fly me to the moon. No, moon is too far, and we lost too much time to see each other. I shall take the train, and they are building the route nowadays, maybe I will some as soon as they finish the construction. Take care honey, now the olympics athletics began. I shall watch it, and get inspired. I shall be inspiring as well. Ok wait, please listen to me. "You know. You know it. Don't forget it."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

16 August or 16 Days Left, Do I Have a Reason?

Should not I wonder
or become curious

Shall I wait
I prefer to walk-in
rather than make an appointment

Really wanted to make this relation
this passion
a reason
for being arisen
from my sleep

Eyes gotta be open
to avoid sleeping
when my eyes are open
why do I still feel like asleep

I don't see you
Or you don't look at me

I tried to check the mirror
It should be reflecting your beauty
In fact, I can't even see myself
Don't you listen to me

I can't see you
You don't look at me

Following your smell
would take me where
I am not fool, or narcotic
I won't talk ironic
Still passionate about rhymes you see
Is it a coincidence,
or is it just me

Just me and you
how would you describe this world
I wanted to build a house
Try very hard to keep the basement strong
I don't want skyscrapers
I won't like high towers
I just want you
Even though I can't see you
Worst thing would be have people hide you
Then, there is no luck
No inspiration
Nothing, nada, vamos

Did you know I even wrote a love letter in Spanish
My teacher told me if a person can speak a language to argue and to express his/her emotions, then this is good for mastering the language.

I wanna make this Turkish now, because I am end of the road now, all obstacles seem to be coming towards me. I am getting very angry. Not that type anger towards someone. Just self-anger. See, now I look at the mirror and see my anger, being reflected back to me. Whenever you are not, anger, lust, sadness is there. But, why?

I don't have a reason to count down the days, if I don't know the destination. Believe it or not, today I was searching for shipping companies. One of them put a quote on their website. If you don't know where you are going, then there is no importance of the place where you reached. (by Peter F. Drucker)

I know I am coming to you, and the place I will reach is very important. It is you. It will be your destination now. I will keep waiting to have you host in my destination. From the beginning, to the end of this post, many things changed. Yes, I gave up on rhymes. I just wanna keep writing now. I am not a poet, but may begin to write scenario, or even an e-Book. Stories, inspirations, and aspirations which doesn't sound right, sounds like aspirin (the medicine). I already know that I have been prescribed a medicine called your name. I just can't get your name, and leave you unknown right. You have five letters in your name. At least give me one letter. We already share one letter, it is E. Well, it is a good start, but I have three letters, you have 5, we need to balance it. I want your A. It is the not the first letter in your name, but it is the first letter in the alphabet. I wish our life will be an alphabet, each we celebrate one letter. I just want to begin to do that now. Your birthday will happen at the of the online poll I put on this blog. I hope this letters will be evolving, and at the end, I will see how much I can survive without you. Too many things to says, but they are not things, they are gems, very precious stones. No, wait, they are not stones to throw at you. They are stones to protect you from harm. Take them. Take them. Take them. I will be hiding beneath them.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Erasing the time

No need to hide behind a chaos of metaphors
I shall prefer to watch figure skating
then to speak figurative language
I dont like to make short-cut
to be honest with you,
I need to take the other way
As Duke Ellington said
Take the L train
I dont mind taking the Z train
as long as it is taking me to you
I wish I can at least talk to you
Now I am talking to the world
Maybe a song-writer will hear me
and credit me for a few verses on my posts
I dont money,
Just to make your love famous
and inspire other
as the world is going the shake-your-booty direction
there is no misconception
maybe some misconsumption
dont wanna say the four letter word
beginning with L, ending with you
in fact, it is ending with E
but it remind me the E of the beginning of the End
So, I prefer you
but how can I say I love you,
I cant fit it is a four letter word
Lets make this Kiss
but K reminds me the radio stations in the US
all commercials, indeed I just wanna listen to you
I dont need others gossip about us
I dont mind others eyes looking at us
met in the US
was a bless for us
God Bless USA for embracing international students
Really thanks to them for creating such a nice place like VVS.
See the memories are flowing
Time is running
I dont mind
I had a few seconds to shout at the world
why is it turning around
if I dont,cant, but must talk to you
u r already 2 hrs ahead of me
if I catch u in Baku
would u hear me
Did u realize how this blog is evolving
from ambitious cafe posts, to random news
now on a mission
to have the world
say a few words about u
u did not leave
but the obstacles are family
they do appreciate us
but cannot sacrifice to send one of us to anothers house
today is august 14, and I just began to write for us
I did not use the L word, but keep speaking about "us"
Is there us, or is there me.
Yes, now it is me
I just need to look at the mirror
I see your face
but dont talk to me
I dont hear u
Mirrors dont speak?
Illusion or not
I thank God
creating u so similar to me
I dont need to run
maybe take the bus
only 44hrs to reach the shores of Caspian
the air is different, life is different there
isnt it too difficult to leave some addictions behind
this is not an addiction, I am waiting to move on
just waiting for the right weather
as the nomads keep traveling
english tea twinings
a name to remember
a couple of brands
that keeps u unforgottable in my mind
welcome to the losers place
I didnt lose u though
I just lost a good portion of my life without u
maybe 10 years from now, we will read this blog together
maybe some readers will be inspired, and write a few comments
u see the opportunities
u see the oasis
or is it just water
it is pure life
pure love
pure insanity
never lost my mind
just leaving the production relax
so it keeps producing a resolution
for us to come together..

Distance - Poem Take 1

Time is half past eight
In fact it is more than that
I am just seeing an illusion
For more than 4 years
Only 7 minutes left for the work rush
I gave up on the rhyme
Just planning to let my emotions flow
So long so long
Obstacles keep coming forward
If I do not have the promise
and your breath
There is no point to make the four letter word
Begin with L
Finish with S
and send me to the moon
Or catch me at mars
Someway or another
We shall see each other
Pointing your hand at me
Are you shouting
Or helping me
As if I am left in the well
At least give some water
Treat me as your flower
Can or cannot
Let's to somewhere go
Shall please promise
Each day is getting more hazardous
Endangered lives
Cause to stay alive
Looking at their eager
I may stay here further
Poem is for poets
Bits and pieces of words for seekers
Worst thing in life is to have this distance
Are they gonna let us feel each other
7 minutes already past
Now I gotta go and escape to my nest
Still waiting to embrace our kids
You are the only one for my heart to fit

Yesterday, I watched the lyrics and music. I agreed that my heart is gonna pop. Since there is a flow of emotions, I may give a shot at writing a couple of words. There is still time for me to reach you. So, I can keep trying to see you. English is not my native language, so I shall have my limits. For your eyes, I would learn every language, and try to combine the words to mean something nice for you. If I am a salesman in a shoe store, I would try all shoes for you, and still won't give up.