Fajr

The fasting time of Ramadan is approaching, and summer is yet to begin its high temperatures very soon.

Something very important. It was like a warning.

I heard from my friend, "Don't forget Fajr".

It was true that I was very inclined to follow every fajr, at least decided to follow after one try, and most of the time that try was a result of a sleepless night.

It is never easy to wake up so early and do your prayer. And, it is never easy to love a girl who is all surrounded with pessimistic clouds washing her brain every second. It is not as bad as acid rain, and I am getting very anxious because each day there is some sort of news, or a story I hear about her beautiful country, and I keep fasting and let myself clear from any type of dessert, only fruits are allowed, since the real dessert is her eyes.

Eating 4 baklava equals to a sneak peak to her eyes.
Eating 1/2 kg of baklava equals to watching her a few miles away from her.
Eating 1kg of baklava equals to staring her.
And so on...

I don't want to eat baklava.

I want to invite us into the kitchen of the most famous baklava house in Turkey and just begin to produce together. We are only allowed to consume the time ahead of us, quite economically. We already crossed out the things that do not appeal to us, like shouting, or arguing for very small details like mini skirt, etc. As I look back, it was very childish, whereas there is a very bright life beyond that..

Here is the call of the prayer, and it is 8.32pm in the city of Istanbul. What a beauty we are all donated to have a full variety of beautiful voices of imams calling the athan from each minaret. Even for a person hesitant for prayers, it is a celebration to stop for a moment and think once again that we will finally say goodbye to this world. For some of us, it is just a plain craziness, some greed with some joy. All I could verify is to keep each string tight enough not to let anybody down. Seconds are passing, and I have a few shopping bags to fill before we arrange the final countdown.

I love her and I love everyone who is around her, and I just don't understand why there is no single volunteer around her encouraging her to say a few words about us, that's plain pain

I am done with listening to this music. I want action, and I want this Bosphoruse canal to merge and make the European side join the Asian side. I don't want those big container ships to pass by anymore. They are dangerous for our relationship. Those big "uncertainities"

I can favor a mysterious faced girl on Fashion TV, but in the next couple of seconds, I will forget her name. Same story with anybody I would come across in this life. Just a short breeze in the air, whereas I continue to cry her name at least ten times in every hour or so. Still, it is not enough.

This sunday was a terrible day. Horrible moments without any single branch to hold on. Forced myself to sleep, and finally I had a chance to find her, and thanks to Allah that she was holding my hand, but not yet looking at my face.

Then I remember holding her pursue at the ATM. That was an eternal moment. That was a simple declaration of our togetherness, behaving naturally like we are one person, and we understand each other.

There is just too many options in the market, and why I don't hesitate to continue to fight.

Is it love?

Is it obsession?

....

It is life.

There is just one earthy life happening now, and almost 24 years past without the flame.
As they do in pre-historic times, we tried to create the flame together, but the rush of 21st century washed us over and all the dilemmas, bias, misunderstanding took us way back.

Now, I don't even accept the match, or a lighter.

I am already like a volcano, and I say no to those who will try to take us apart. It was a challenge, and each game has a life cycle. It could be 90 minutes in a soccer match, or 40 minutes for a basketball match.

It has been 24 years and it is getting late. If there is one life to live and share, it is all yours, my Zahir. Whatever you like, however you feel.

Everything seems meaningful when it is shared. Today, I don't eat the dessert, tomorrow I may not eat anything other than soup. And, soon, I may just drink water. Last, I may just shut my mouth. And, then?

Simple goodbye to the earthy passions and desires...

If there is time to fight, I was aware of this time period since the biggest departure four years ago. Each minute, I tried to progress, rather than sitting in one office and follow the guidance of the manager and stay at the same exact point of business all my life.

I progress, I am having a progressive love.

It is plain pleasure to meet you in my dreams for now, and then I will wake up very early in the morning with the responsibility to fulfill the day with everything needed to be accomplished in order to progress one more step towards getting you.

Yes, it is getting you. Becuase, I want you, and anybody witnessing these words are aware of the volcano.

Please don't let it sit so long, 'cos I want to give us a birth before the day of my birth.