Push-Button World

If it is scheduled, there is no problem. But, when it is a surprise visit, it is ruining her life.

This is a push button world.

It begins cracking my head as soon as I push the power button of my laptop. It is sick. Just too many feelings, yet only a few of them deserved a space here.

I always wonder what happens to the tap water when we turn it off. How does the water feel? Just because you have the control to release it, the water has no right to decide? Does the water want to come out, or move into different taps through different pipes? Does it have a certain route of flow? Which tap is the favorite one? And, the most important question is; hot or cold?

If I am the water in her apartment's pipes, I don't mind to be filtered, or heated, or put in the refrigerator, as long as I end up seeing her. If I am the pipe connected to her tap, I will be keeping my body stainless steel and avoid the rust.

It is a push button world, we love, we hate, and we forget.

Indeed, my world doesn't allow any lover's game. I could be now thrown out of her galaxy, and be treated as Pluto, whereas she is the Venus. Yes, it is quite a bit of distance between us, temporarily.

I am slowly entering her galaxy, and soon I will be the Jupiter with a circle around my belly. Oh, no, I don't belly-dance, please! But, that circle could be the stars circling around my head after her shouting over the phone. It created some significant dizziness.

Would you like some tea?

Well, I miss her "shirin" tea. It is sweet, yet no sugar, only served with natural jam.

Is there any dessert after the meal?

Well, sorry, I have no appetite to celebrate. I only eat to survive. It is not a pleasure unless it is shared with her. Of course, it is always a grateful moment, whereas millions are starving outside. But, don't you realize how many people are starving for a strong, trustworthy, sincere, honest, emotional, powerful relationship. The targeted ads for "matching" services are rising. I don't understand how come I can think of somebody else when I am starving for her presence. And, inshallah when we are together, how come I can think of somebody else when I am praying to Allah everyday for making my ("our") dreams come true.

Who is that somebody else?

and, Why?

I am driving in the traffic, and somebody is harassing everyone in the traffic by breaking the rules and using the emergency lane. Where is all those humane feelings we all supposed to have somewhere hidden in our mind over belly or under belly, whichever is preferred.

I am driving in the traffic, and I will not harass anyone by using the emergency lane.
I am simply waiting for the weather calm down and see the blue.

It will be blue, it has to be blue, because this sorrow should not continue forever. We all have lives to live, lips to kiss, feet to dance, hands to touch, eyes to meet, etc.

There is one phrase - Loving the Creator due to the creations.

It is a blank page without her. But, we have so many thoughts to share that the expected life period should be barely enough for us to fill those blank pages together. We all created those blank pages together, like putting the flour and making bread in the oven. They are fresh, and as I posted yesterday, we shall illuminate the world together more than 1.000.000 hours.

It is a push button world, and I shall hit the publish post button, and I don't know when and where these proud and lucky letters will meet her to tell her how much I miss her to kiss her.

Until we share a dessert together, I am fasting. I could remember the day we went to "Gud Peçka" to pick up one of her favorite desserts. I thank Allah that we are all humans and we are all miracles in this finite world. How fresh the memories are and how long they will be able to feed my thirst for her?